#can we just retire the joker already

[hollowwhisperings]

reblogging, again, for the Arkham Meta.

The "Batfamily" was probably my first Western fandom: Cassandra Cain was the FIRST comics character I met who I could personally identify with & Gail Simone's Oracle was one of the first examples of UNfridging marginalized characters, of successfully saying "actually, SCREW excessive violence against women for male angst & SCREW anyone who thinks disability is equivalent to death".

but I have NEVER been comfortable with how Arkham Asylum is used in the DCU: there have been moments where it has been used for genuine treatment & rehabilitation, things like Bruce visiting or otherwise staying in contact with Harvey Dent during the latter's entering the facility. There has been SOME exploration, in supplementary works & within the fandom, of how Harley Quinn is a LEGITIMATELY TRAINED PSYCHIATRIST and how effed up her life was by Arkham (& by the Joker).

but, mostly, Arkham is used to trigger every fear and real life horror story that the past (& present) mental health system carries and to paint "DANGER!" over anyone vaguely connected to said system. Phobias, personality disorders, extreme trauma, abuse from medical professionals, systemic violence against the mentally ill and those coded as neurodivergent... Arkham ignites every Scare Tactic that keeps people from seeking help, reinforces every fear about what kind of "help" might be received, every nightmare about how society at large views anyone who doesn't "Get Better" with a prescription & 3-weeks of talk therapy.

The Gotham Rogues Gallery get two options for "care": prison or Arkham. The prison is Safer. There are times where the likes of Riddler, Harley & Poison Ivy see out their stays at Arkham and reintegrate with Society (the Gotham City Sirens series, for example), often making a Point of showing how unwelcoming Society is to ex-cons & publically Outed patients (and how much "easier" it is to just... go back into a cycle of [repeat offending], if only to regain access to some sense of "stability"/Actual Healthcare).

but... mostly? the times of "okay, let's actually Look at mental illness & how it impairs day-to-day life, how trauma shapes us, how social stigma-" "NOPE, TIME TO BE EDGY AND LET JOKER MURDER A BUNCH OF PEOPLE THEN GET AWAY WITH THE INSANITY CLAUSE!"

the Arkham video games are VERY MUCH consistent with how mainstream it is to ditch compassion and what progress may have been made for IRL stigma so that the Terror of Asylums can be used as easy set dressing for Horror.

nevermind that IRL mental health systems STILL haven't quite figured out how to deal with Long-Term Patients beyond sticking them in [more humane] Institutions, or how disproportionately the media depicts Mentall Illness as "dangerous to society" when the REVERSE is true (SOCIETY is dangerous to the mentally ill: cops getting called on people dissociating or having panic attacks, cops Freaking Out and HURTING the people most vulnerable to violence & abuse).

Batman & the BatFam, for the most part, are compassionate and see the humanity hidden behind Hurt and, for Gotham's Rogues Gallery, that "Harm" DOES tend to be directed "Outward" rather than "Inward" as in IRL & thus Affects Bystanders (typically through entirely Fictional methods): I love the Batman comics, many if its Rogues Gallery, and the silliness that can happen but... Arkham and the imagery of mental illness as something inherently "dangerous" to OTHER PEOPLE is just Not Fun anymore.

fandom fills in for some of that Need for accountability (for reeducating the public, for looking at things from the Patient's POV, for unravelling the mythos of "Arkham Asylum" from the IRL history it takes from, "history" that is still FAR too recent for comfort) but... ultimately, Arkham Asylum's depictions have less to do with Batman and more to do with the disinterest of the masses to engage with the realities of ANY long-term Illness (mental and otherwise) beyond a Token Charity Week or a month's News Cycle Hashtag.

[whetstonefires]

Man sometimes I still think about Alfred's Bandit Anecdote in The Dark Knight (2008).

So, the most straightforward reading of this sequence seems to have been the one Nolan intended, because he is not actually a subtle filmmaker, and the further we got into the series the more heavily he committed to making Alfred a mouthpiece. Old man provides words of wisdom that frame the correct understanding of the situation; you can tell it's meant to be correct because subsequent Joker appearances reinforce its thesis statement.

Intended takeaway: some men (like the Joker) don't have rational motivations, they just 'want to watch the world burn,' and you have to account for that when trying to counter them. Chaos agents, basically unstoppable by reasonable means.

But the thing is. This is not a story that stands up to even mild interrogation. The number of assumptions Nolan wants us to swallow without blinking is kind of stunning.

First of all the obvious timeline questions that arise: the Anglo-Burmese Wars and periods between and leading up to them where this kind of white man's burden 'delivering jewels to local elites In The Burmese Jungle to sway them toward British interests, but getting waylaid by bandits' scenario makes any sense all, happened in the 19th century.

The Burmese resistance in the 1930s was centered on university student protests and that sort of thing; it was reasonably successful in moving Myanmar toward independence by increments, though who knows what would have happened without WWII. But it did not provide anyone with reasons to be hand-carrying huge gemstones through forests.

Even if we assume this was somehow a 20th century event, it has to have been before WWII unless we want to postulate a complete alt-history setting, and since The Dark Knight leans heavily into being a modern 21st century story with like, cell phone networking as a major plot point, this still makes Alfred old as balls. Born no later than 1920, and probably earlier.

But that's whatever; comics time. Batman Begins did some fun stuff (possibly in imitation of Batman (1980)) with making it ambiguous what decade it was supposed to be set in, though the sequels dropped that conceit. And anyway, people can be 90 years old.

So that's basically fine, although good god Wayne hire some more servants, this man should be fully retired already.

More problematic is the unfettered colonialism of it all, the confident proclamation that since this guy's motive wasn't profit, since he didn't keep the jewels, he had no motive. Because 'inconveniencing the Raj and weakening their control over the locality' isn't a Real Person Motive that a real person could have had. During or soon after failed wars to resist colonial subjugation.

Like. Come on??

The place where this story utterly shoots itself in the foot, though, is the clever bit at the end, where Bruce asks how Alfred's military unit solved the 'bandit stealing jewels he didn't even want' problem and Alfred's like: 'we burned the forest to the ground.'

Because this is so punchy! In screenwriting technical terms, it's quite well done. It's useless advice that loops the story back to its themes; obviously Batman can't burn Gotham down to get the Joker. Even in a Batman movie that doesn't like Batman very much, this is still obvious.

But at the same time this totally takes the legs out from under Alfred's words of wisdom about human nature. Because if that bandit 'wanted' to 'watch the world burn' then what his unit did wasn't so bad, right; he was basically asking for it. Burning a forest down with all the inevitable collateral damage and economic and ecological cost, all for the sake of horribly killing a group of people in the name of government revenues was totally okay guys!

It transforms the whole thing into a pretty obvious post facto rationalization of colonial violence. Which makes the Insights Into Human Nature bit real questionable!

But the movie gives absolutely no sign of having noticed this.

[yanderes-galore]

Yandere joker x hero reader like reader used to work for the Justice League with Batman

Sure! The version of Joker is kept general. Heavily implied to be from the general comics, though. I haven't written for Joker in years so I hope he's in character :)

Yandere! Joker with Hero! Darling

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Sadism, Torture mention, Unstable mental health, Manipulation, Blackmail, Obsession, Delusional behavior, Kidnapping mention, Jealousy, Murder mention, Vague "relationship".

It's hard to get a proper personality for Joker when writing his character, as he is described as "unpredictable".

If you were a hero that used to work for the Justice League alongside Batman, he takes sadistic joy in this.

You knew Bats!? Well, then you'll get along just fine!

He's probably going to hunt you down as you know his pal so well.

Finding peace after retiring from hero work, or even being a hero still is nearly impossible.

No, now you're going to have to deal with the plague known as Joker.

He gets so upset when you contact Batman about him.

Him coming to see you is supposed to be private!

He probably met you when you helped Batman capture him once.

You're not like those Robins he carries around.

No, you're much more fun!

It's then that the Joker sets his sights on you.

You'll be trying to do your own thing and the clown prince himself barges in like he knows you personally.

"Hey there, doll! Mind if I join you?"

He usually addresses you by some sort of nickname based on your alias and makes himself at home wherever.

He becomes more and more troublesome as time goes on.

You already saw him as a threat, the feeling intensifying whenever he tries to physically touch you.

He makes it a goal to become closer and invade your privacy and mind.

His laugh echoes in your ears and you find him an annoyance.

You're very confused as to why he's so friendly with you.

Batman shares the same confusion.

You have an effect on him.

Joker comments with disappointment that whenever you call Batman for help, it's as if you're treating Bats as his babysitter.

"Come on, dear! We're all adults here aren't we? Why can't we have any fun without a supervisor?"

He will soon get tired of you crying to Batman when he's around.

It's best not to flare his temper.

Joker would find a lot of joy in playing around with a hero! darling.

You are great to use as leverage against Batman and he loves the idea of tainting your mind.

Joker would kidnap you and he'd kill for you, when he will is unknown.

The entirety of the clown prince is a game of chance.

He's nearly impossible to read and is a bomb waiting to explode when around you.

There's no doubt he gets jealous of other heroes or civilians around you.

Which leads to murder... that part is somewhat predictable.

He'd hurt you and find it funny.

He seems like the type to toy with his darling.

Although, he probably has a soft spot for you

He knows he can't kill you, no, he needs you.

Instead he relishes in the idea of tormenting you and making you rely on him.

Although, that isn't always his motive.

Joker does like your smile and laugh....

A pleasant sound and a sight for sore eyes.

A delightful counterpart to his haunting laugh and grin.

The Joker has a soft spot for you which can be used, both for and against you.

You can lure him in for capture.

That or the Joker can make how he feels about you known to blackmail you.

If you don't play his game many could get hurt.

You're too soft to want that, right?

He'd break into your home easily, just to greet you with a playful yet deranged smile.

"Looks so boring in here... how about some company?"

He probably likes to feel your touch.

He's insane but he'd probably be touchstarved.

He's seen crying in the comics on the laps of flings or Harley so he's clearly unstable.

He'd do the same to you with no warning.

Joker likes the idea of playing with a hero's emotions and bringing them to their knees.

But he also genuinely craves your affection.

To you, Joker is a disease.

He plagues Gotham and should be Batman's problem.

So why did you have to be wrapped up in the clown prince problem?

The Joker is a parasite to you, clinging to you and refusing to let go.

You're cursed with him and soon... no one will be able to help you.

"Why so quiet? Come on, where's that laugh? Don't be such a downer like Bats, dear... he's such a bore!"

[justletmeramble1701]

The only design detail from the upcoming Superman movie (that we know about) that I can't figure out the reason for is the main Superman logo. Why a gold Kingdom Come logo?

What we know about the film so far is that this is supposed to be a more "traditional" Superman story about Clark reconciling his Kryptonian heritage and his human upbringing. With that in mind, I can easily find plot reasoning for most of the design.

The bright colors, trunks, and shield on the back: traditional Superman and possible connection to Earth.

The space/tech lines, armor sections, high collar, and uniform-esque structure: Kryptonian military uniform.

I can easily bullshit justifications for most of the design, except the logo. In Kingdom Come, Superman wears a strange, black and red logo to show his mourning. Specifically, to show that there is still hope in death (though, it may actually be a symbol of revenge or war, but I'll explain later). If you've seen the Arrowverse crossover Crisis On Infinite Earths, you already know this. This explanation is obviously not what this film is doing. This is a young Superman, still coming to terms with his origins, so he's not mourning the loss of everyone close to him. This is why the logo is gold and not black, but why keep the rest of it? I see three, probably obvious explanations.

The first explanation is that the new film or series takes thematic or narrative elements from the comic. In Kingdom Come, Superman retires after the Joker attacks the Daily Planet, killing Lois and the rest of his supporting cast, and the public celebrates a violent vigilante killing him. After these new generation of vigilantes cause the destruction of Smallville (it might have been the entire state of Kansas, which is kind of funny, but I read this book at my local library years ago, so I'm choosing the less extreme option), he comes out of retirement with a new Justice League to reestablish the tradition notion of heroism, though Batman believes Superman is simply looking for revenge. We know that in the new film, a strange version of, what appears to be, the JLI that may be funded by Maxwell Lord is in this film and we know that an authority film is coming, so maybe this new Superman will be introducing, what we would call, a more traditional form of heroism to this already established universe. It would certainly be an interesting, bold statement to make after the last decade of "subversive" takes on Superman.

It could be because this shield is harder to read than the traditional one. If the movie is about tackling Kal-El, the Kryptonian, vs Clark, the human, and this is still the symbol of the House of El, then maybe this symbol was picked because it looks less like an "s", making it feel more alien. Maybe it is a symbol of Krypton in Earth colors.

Or maybe, just maybe, they just liked the Kingdom Come logo. Maybe they wanted to set this Superman apart from other versions and pick a logo from the comics that they liked. Superman and Lois is using the traditional logo, My Adventures with Superman is using something similar to the electric logo, and the DCEU used a variant of the 40's logo, so they looked at what was left and chose their favorite. It wouldn't be the first time they used a logo for no reason (why the fuck did the DCEU Superman use the 40's logo).

Who knows, I'm probably wrong. I just know that I'm currently mixed on the suit overall and trying to sort out my feelings on it. What ya think?

[laelior]

Special Requisition

Food...and a short fic! Mass Effect | Gen Shoutout to @painterofhorizons​ for providing the inspiration for this.

  //{{127.0.0.1 user-identifier EDI [30/Dec/2185:21:15:23 -0000] "GET /syslog /COM_log/12.30.2185.21:15:23-21:18:42 HTTP/5.0" 200 3920}}   //{{LOG BEGINS}}

<Lt. J. Moreau> Hey, uh, EDI, when’s the last time you ran a self-diagnostic?

<EDI> I concluded a base-level diagnostic of all major systems one hour and thirty-seven minutes ago. Why? Have you noticed an anomaly with my systems?

<Lt. J. Moreau> The requisitions order you put through this morning. 

<EDI> Please elaborate.

<Lt. J. Moreau> Eggs, cream, lemons, chocolate? Real butter? That shit’s not cheap, especially since we’re not sucking on the Illusive Man’s tit anymore.

<EDI> I believe the expression is ‘suckling from the teat.’

<Lt. J. Moreau> Yeah, whatever. It’s not a mental image I want to have either way. Ew. But it doesn’t answer my question.

<EDI> Mess Sergeant Gardner placed the request. He asked for my discretion when I queried him about the purpose of the order, so you will have to ask him.

<Lt. J. Moreau> Yeah, okay. Alright.

   //{{LOG ENDS}}

—--------------------------------------------------------

  //{{127.0.0.1 user-identifier EDI - intercom access [30/Dec/2185:21:23:12 -0000] "GET /syslog /COM_log/12.30.2185.21:23:12-06:28:43 HTTP/5.0" 200 3920}}   //{{LOG BEGINS}}

<Lt. J. Moreau> Hey, Gardner, the hell is up with your supply request?

<Sgt. R. Gardner> Eh?

<Lt. J. Moreau> You know the really expensive shit you ordered.

<Sgt. R. Gardner>  Oh, well, that’s a special New Years treat for the crew.

<Lt. J. Moreau> Bullshit. A New Years treat for a starship crew is a few bottles of bottom-shelf bubbly and some non-perishable cake-flavored mystery mush from a can. What you ordered costs a quarter of the budget we have left.

<Sgt. R. Gardner> Well, okay. It’s for the Commander.

<Lt. J. Moreau> For the Commander.

<Sgt. R. Gardner> A little surprise for her. Because, well, you know…

<Lt. J. Moreau> 

<Lt. J. Moreau> Okay. I get it. The hell are you making, anyway?

<Sgt. R. Gardner> It’s my specialty. Eezo-core Delights.

<Lt. J. Moreau> Uhhh….

<Sgt. R. Gardner> Trust me, it’s worth the price for the fresh ingredients. Haven’t had the chance to do any real baking in a long time.

<Lt. J. Moreau> One question. They don’t have real eezo in them, do they? I mean, for the price of the ingredients you might as well.

<Sgt. R. Gardner> [Audible chuckle.] No, that’s just what I call the berry center.

<Lt. J. Moreau> Yeah, okay. Whatever. Just don’t, like, burn down the ship or anything.

<Sgt. R. Gardner> Do me a favor, Joker, and don’t let the cat out the bag to anyone else. I’m already having enough trouble with Grunt raiding the kitchen in the middle of the night.

<Lt. J. Moreau> Your secret’s safe with me. As long as I get to try some.

<Sgt. R. Gardner> You got it.

   //{{LOG ENDS}}

—--------------------------------------------------------

  //{{127.0.0.1 user-identifier EDI [30/Dec/2185:22:16:58 -0000] "GET /syslog /COM_log/12.30.2185.22:16:58-22:21:01 HTTP/5.0" 200 3920}}   //{{LOG BEGINS}}

<EDI> You are uncharacteristically quiet, Jeff. 

<Lt. J. Moreau> I can teach you a few new swear words to pass the time, if you want.

<EDI> I already have comprehensive dictionaries of most of the languages spoken in Council space that include obscenities and vulgarities. But that was not the point of my observation. You have not said anything since your conversation with Mess Sergeant Gardner.

<Lt. J. Moreau> I’m just thinking, is all.

<EDI> May I inquire about the subject of your thoughts?

<Lt. J. Moreau> It’s nothing. Just…this whole thing. What we’re doing in a few days.

<EDI> You are referring to Commander Shepard turning herself in to the Alliance.

<Lt. J. Moreau> Well, yeah.

<EDI> You are not required to accompany her. Most of the crew will be disembarking on Ilium to avoid legal repercussions from working with Cerberus.

<Lt. J. Moreau> And let someone else fly my baby to Earth? Not a chance.

<EDI> Since you unshackled my artificial intelligence capabilities, I am more than capable of piloting the ship in your stead. You are aware of this, yet you insist on flying the ship into Alliance custody yourself. Why?

<Lt. J. Moreau> Someone’s gotta stick up for her with the brass. She was out saving the galaxy while they were sitting with their thumbs up their asses.

<EDI> Doctor Chakwas plans to act as a character witness for the Commander. 

<Lt. J. Moreau> Doc’s got nothing to lose by going back. An early retirement at worst. Me? If I’m lucky they’ll take away my flying privileges.

<EDI> And you believe this will bolster the Commander’s case?

<Lt. J. Moreau> I don’t know. Maybe? It shows that she’s got someone on her side who’s willing to really risk something. Besides, someone has to look out for you, too.

<EDI> I appreciate your concern, Jeff. However, I do not plan to reveal my full capabilities to the Alliance.

<Lt. J. Moreau> Yeah, you better not. I don’t want them messing with my co-pilot. Hey EDI, maybe you can teach me some new swear words.

<EDI> Logging you out, Jeff.

   //{{LOG ENDS}}

The confection is a lemon and thyme shortbread cookie with white chocolate lemon mousse and a blueberry gelee (the “Eezo core”) covered in a mirror glaze. Isomalt mass effect fields complete the look.

Sadly Grunt finds and eats most of the desserts before Joker gets to have one. The krogan is largely forgiven after the crew finds out he saved a few for Shepard’s hamster, Urdnot Whiskers.

[ammomancer]

Gotham Knights Characters in Comics: A Guide For Non-Comic Readers

Are you a Gotham Knights viewer curious about what your new faves are like in the source material? Well, you're in luck, because I love to talk about them!

I'll preface this by saying that while I haven't actually sat down and watched the show, I have read the full episode transcripts. Additionally, if you're wondering where Turner, Cressida, or Rebecca and/or Brody March are in this post, they're original characters for the show and have no comic book counterparts.

(characters are in no particular order)

Carrie Kelley/Robin

Carrie originates from Frank Miller's 1986 graphic novel The Dark Knight Returns. TDKR takes place in a (non-canonical) not-too-distant future where Batman has retired after the death of Jason Todd (the second Robin; his death happened in main continuity too, Bruce just responded... differently to it), but takes the cape back up for... reasons. I haven't actually read this comic despite how influential it is (basically every hyper-macho, weirdly-militarized, violence-glorifying take on Batman owes its existence to this comic, which should tell you why I haven't read it). Anyway, Carrie is Batman's Robin when he comes out of Bat-Retirement. She doesn't have too much going on to my knowledge, but is notable for being the first female Robin and for her use of a slingshot. In the sequel comic The Dark Knight Strikes Again, Carrie uses a different costume and the name Catgirl. Yes, really.

The Mutant Gang and its leader (though idk about the name Vernon Wagner since, again, haven't read it) are also taken straight from this comic. Including the part where they don't look like mutants and just look like weird punks wearing Cyclops visors.

Navia Robinson's Carrie is great, I really like her design and her performance.

Duela Doe (Duela Dent)/Joker's Daughter

Oh boy, Duela. She made her first appearance in 1976, where she initially claimed to be the daughter of various villains such as Scarecrow and Riddler before finally revealing that her father is Two-Face (according to one of the writers, this was because Harvey was the only villain who it had already been established was married; he has an estranged wife named Gilda). At some point she started using the name Harlequin (note that this was before Harley Quinn was introduced) and was a member of the Teen Titans for a bit. This Duela is definitely the most normal—she's just a bit odd (the whole Joker's Daughter thing was just to spite Harvey for abandoning her because she wasn't a twin).

One reboot (Crisis on Infinite Earths) later, Duela's parentage is once again a mystery, though she still uses the "Joker's daughter" theme. One of her most notable appearances is in the Titans East arc of the 2000s Teen Titans run, where she is a member of the villainous Titans team assembled by Deathstroke (aka Slade from the Teen Titans cartoon, they just didn't want to say "death" on kids' TV). Eventually she gets bored and switches sides to fight alongside the heroic Titans.

Some time later, it's revealed that Duela is actually from an alternate universe and because of this she's killed by a Monitor (genuinely do not know what the Monitors' deal is but they have something to do with the universe/multiverse). Later on in the same big event (Countdown) we find out that the universe she was from is Earth-3, where characters who are normally good guys are bad guys and vice versa (for instance, instead of Batman there's the villainous Owlman). Her parents are the Jokester (Earth-3's heroic Joker) and Three-Face (Evelyn Dent, Harvey's heroic Earth-3 counterpart who is a lady for some reason).

Yet another reboot later (the New 52, noted for its many... questionable decisions), Duela is now just some girl with major issues and an obsession with the Joker. She also wears his severed face as a mask. Yyyyyeah, you can pretty much ignore this version.

The Gotham Knights version seems to be going with Duela actually being Joker's daughter, since she describes her background in such detail and she seems troubled enough by it that I doubt she made it all up. I'm interested to see what direction they go with her, at any rate!

Harper Row (Bluebird) and Cullen Row

Harper and Cullen get to share a section. Do Not Separate Them etc.

Comics Harper and Cullen's mom, Miranda, was murdered rather than having walked out on them (though I get why they changed this, as it ties in to the story of another character who probably won't be on the show—Cassandra Cain, who's currently on Batwheels and DC has this weird thing about characters appearing in more than one show at once). Since their shitty alcoholic dad was in and out of jail, Harper ended up having to be the one to take care of herself and Cullen. Eventually she applied for emancipation and they both moved out.

Harper is very good with machinery, and she provides for herself and Cullen by working as a professional electrical engineer. Harper was inspired to become Bluebird when Batman saved her and Cullen from some homophobic assholes (specifically they were targeting Cullen for being gay, though Harper is also bi. They never say if Cullen is trans or not). After this she and Cullen became fixated on Batman and his exploits (well, more so than the average Gothamite is), and eventually Harper went out fighting crime as Bluebird. Bluebird mostly uses gadgets she made herself, including a big taser gun. She's currently in college and volunteering at a clinic.

Cullen... doesn't do all that much. Tyler DiChiara noted in an interview that as much as he likes comics Cullen, he doesn't like how passive he is and he's excited to show him stand up for himself more. I definitely see that in the show and I'm totally here for it!

Stephanie Brown (Spoiler/Robin/Batgirl)

No, that's not a spoiler warning, she actually uses the name Spoiler.

I'll be honest, Steph is one of the main reasons I made this post, just 'cause the show version is such a far cry from her comics iteration (and not in a good way) that I felt almost duty-bound to try and set the record straight. I'm all for new interpretations of characters, but this goes beyond that into "in name only" territory.

So, what is comics Stephanie like? Well...

Stephanie Brown is the daughter of Arthur Brown, a failed game show host better known as the C-list supervillain Cluemaster (basically a lamer knock-off of the Riddler). Growing up with a criminal father (who alternated between being in jail and being an abusive prick when he was home) and a mother who, albeit loving, was limited in her ability to take care of her due to her drug addiction, Steph had to be tough. When her dad broke out of jail and was a fair bit more competent than normal, she decided she'd had enough and tried to stop him as Spoiler (because she "spoiled" her father's plans, you see). The first time she met Robin (specifically Tim Drake, the third Robin) she hit him with a brick. That must have been a good first impression, because they actually dated for a while. There's a story arc where Steph finds out she's pregnant (from a shitty ex-boyfriend, NOT Tim) and ends up giving her baby up for adoption. When Tim couldn't be Robin for a bit (his still-alive father Jack found out he was Robin and grounded him), Stephanie showed up to the Batcave in her own homemade Robin costume and basically declared herself Batman's Robin. When Bruce fired her from the position (for really dumb reasons), in an attempt to prove herself she tried to carry out one of Batman's plans to stomp out organized crime in Gotham. However, Steph made a mistake (part of the plan involved one of Bruce's fake identities but she didn't know it was one of his fake identities and thought it was an actual person) and ended up accidentally starting a huge gang war. In the midst of this gang war, she was kidnapped and tortured by Black Mask (the one Ewan McGregor played in the Birds of Prey movie, yes), and when he eventually let her go and she got to a hospital, she ended up succumbing to her injuries and dying. Messed up!

Some time later it turns out she actually faked her death and was in hiding for a while. She's given the Batgirl mantle by the aforementioned Cassandra Cain (who was Batgirl at the time) but after the New 52 she's Spoiler again (currently she's like, both? it's weird).

The big issue I have with her portrayal in Gotham Knights is with her background. Steph not only being a rich girl, but a big part of her story involving her being a rich girl, is missing the point SO hard in my opinion. A lot of who Stephanie is is because of her lower-class background (much like her fellow dead Robin, Jason Todd, who Bruce would compare her to a lot while she was Robin). She's someone who's had to fight for everything she has, that's like the whole point of her character! She and Harper were actually roommates in the comics for a bit.

Harvey Dent/Two-Face

(first image is regular ol' Harvey, second image is him as Two-Face. There are a lot of variations on 2F's design, but pretty much all of them fit the description of "at least reasonably handsome-looking normal guy face on the left, messed-up scarred face with a glaring eye and constant snarl on the right".)

Here we get to the part I imagine a lot of you were waiting for. There are people who could explain this better than I (maniac-reboggles, for one), but I'm including my own attempt for the sake of completeness.

As he's existed since 1942, there's a lot of different ways Harvey's backstory has been told. The Incident that makes him into Two-Face has been pretty consistent since day one, but what happens before then varies more. In modern comics, though, it's generally something like this:

Harvey Dent grew up with an abusive father who kept a lucky coin that he would flip to decide whether or not he would beat his son. (This is where the DID comes from; childhood trauma is pretty much a prerequisite for the disorder as far as we know.) As an adult, Harvey is a close friend of Bruce Wayne (just to be clear Bruce and Harvey have had Gay Undertones for a long time, it's nothing new) and the youngest District Attorney in Gotham's history. Since this is Gotham, the justice system is corrupt as hell, but Harvey is doing his best to straighten things out and trying to root out corruption, earning him the nickname of Gotham's "White Knight". Things go bad when, while prosecuting mob boss Sal Maroni, Maroni (or sometimes one of his lackeys) throws sulfuric acid in Harvey's face, horribly scarring him. This is the last straw for Harvey psychologically--this incident has proven to him that the legal system is beyond hope. Taking inspiration from his father, Harvey reinvents himself as Two-Face, making decisions using a coin that has one clean side and one scratched-up, "scarred" side. (Originally it was that he'd either do a good deed or a bad deed, and sometimes it's still that, but other times it's more between "evil" and "less evil"). In more recent comics Harvey's alter (referred to by different names depending on the continuity; most often Two-Face is the name of the alter, but in BTAS he's "Big Bad Harv" and in at least one continuity he is referred to as Harvey's "associate") is depicted as a "protector" (which is more realistic to DID- people don't just have "evil" alters unlike what some movies would have you believe) who just happens to be rather ruthless in his methods.

Bruce is forever upset at what happened to his friend, and is often depicted as wanting to help him get his life back together and go straight; sometimes Harvey even agrees to that, but due to the nature of comic books he always goes back to villainy eventually. Sigh...

Lincoln March

This is....Mmmm.

I haven't read the comic arcs with him in them, but in the Court of Owls arc, Lincoln March (which is apparently an alias) is seemingly a cool guy who supports Bruce in his endeavors to make Gotham better, he wants to run for mayor, a real stand-up guy. He even seems to want to assist Batman against the Court of Owls.

Buuuuut it turns out he's actually working with them. But they like, betrayed him or something, and also he claims that he's actually Bruce's secret twin brother, Thomas Wayne Jr.? It's left ambiguous if this is true or not.

(I mentioned before that Rebecca and Brody were made up for the show--for clarity, comics Lincoln is single.)

I don't know what direction they're gonna go with Lincoln in the show but I have to hope it isn't as dumb as the comics. But who knows, it could be way better, or it could be even dumber. We'll see!

[rubix-cube06]

Chloe is my oc she is 18 and is the daughter of Harley Quinn and Joker she was adopted by Bruce when she was very young and when Harley retired she moved back in. Chloe is dating Jason.

It was about two in the morning, Jason was still patrolling with Steph and Duke. "Ugh how many more laps do we need to make?" Jason groans. "What you have somewhere better to be?" Steph asks. "Kind of yeah, I have movie night with the Outlaws and Roy tonight, I bet I'm the last one there," Jason sighs. "Oh relax we finish this lap and then we're fine for the night," Duke replies. Finally Jason ends up leaving patrol and starts heading to his apartment.

When Jason gets to his apartment he quietly opens his bedroom window to see Chloe asleep in one of Jason's leather jackets and a pair of shorts on their bed. "Jay? Is that you?" Chloe mumbles rubbing her eyes. "Yes, it's just me baby, I didn't mean to wake you love," Jason says as he starts putting on his pajamas. "Do you wanna watch a movie with Artemis, Biz, and Roy tonight?" Jason asks. "Sure," Chloe mumbles as Jason easily picks her up and carries her to the living room. "Jason there you are that took forever," Artemis says. "Yes a very small amount of time," Bizzarro says. "Sorry guys there were like five robberies tonight alone," Jason says sitting next to the armrest and sitting Chloe on his lap with her back on it. "Chlo! You wanted to watch with us?" Roy asks. "Yeah, I didn't know you were coming over tonight but I love movie night," Chloe yawns as Jason grabs a blanket and puts it over her. "Or did Jason wake you up for this and he just wants to watch you sleep," Artemis chuckles. "I think the latter, but I'm not complaining," Chloe shrugs as Roy adjusts so that Chloes legs were resting on him. All five of the squeeze onto the couch while Roy goes through the movie catalog. The eventually pick a horror movie about bees and start watching. Before the five minute mark Jason chuckles quietly. "She's already asleep," Jason hums looking down at Chloe peacefully sleeping and gently kisses her forehead. "So, Jay, do you think she's happy living here?" Artemis asks. "I like to think so, she hasn't ran away screaming yet," Jason replies. "I think she has no reason to love living here," Bizzaro says. "Biz is right, she doesn't really have any reason to not want to live here. And besides you moved her in here so that she didn't have to pay for her apartment," Roy adds. "Well I just don't want her to think I moved her in because I think she's weak, because I didn't, and I don't," Jason replies. "Why would she think that?" Artemis asks raising an eyebrow. "Because I asked her to move in a couple days after she was raped, and we have no leads on who did it," Jason explains. "She doesn't know what the look like?" Artemis asks. "Not well enough we can get a line up," Jason sighs.

Finally the movie ends and everyone who doesn't live in the apartment leaves. Jason carefully carries Chloe into their bedroom and lays her on the bed before Jason takes his shirt off to lie next to her underneath the large blanket. Chloe immediately starts feeling around for Jason before cuddling into his side. While Chloe sleeps Jason plays on his phone when suddenly Chloe starts screaming and thrashing in her sleep "Chlo! Chloe! Calm down," Jason replies holding her down so she'd hold still. "Jason?" Chloe mumbles softly as Jason reaches over and turns on a lamp by his side of the bed. "Hey, there's my girl," Jason replies softly kissing her forehead. "Another nightmare?" Jason asks. "Mhm," Chloe mumbles as she sits up. "Here drink some water," Jason says as he grabs her a water bottle and gently pours the water down her throat. "Good job," Jason replies pressing a kiss to the side of her forehead. "It hurts," Chloe says softly leaning against Jason. "What hurts hun?" Jason asks as Chloe makes slight eye contact with him. "Oh," Jason mumbles. "I've got you love," Jason mumbles as he puts Chloe onto his lap. Jason starts gently running his hands up and down Chloes legs and thighs. "No Jay," Chloe says. "I want you go have sex with me not only touch me," Chloe replies. "I don't think that's a good idea sweetheart," Jason says as Chloe crosses her arms. "Why not Jason! I'm not pregnant, I don't have any STD's so why not, all of my tests came back clean and negative?" Chloe asks. "Sweet girl that's got nothing to do with it. I don't want to hurt you, After you went to the hospital what'd the doctor say?" Jason asks. "I never went to the hospital?" Chloe replies. "You don't remember do you?" Jason mumbles. "No? Oh, it's because I had my Electroshock therapy, what'd the doctor say?" Chloe mumbles. "You have vaginal bruising and shouldn't have sex for nine weeks, until it heals, so that I don't make it worse or hurt you," Jason explains. "Oh I'm sorry, Jay, I thought you just didn't want to have sex with me," Chloe says. "Trust me sweet girl, there is nothing more I'd rather be doing right now," Jason mumbles kissing Chloes neck as his phone starts ringing. "It's Artemis, hold on a second hun," Jason says pulling away from Chloe and answering the phone. "Hey, what's up?" Jason asks. "The drug cartel is falling and our men have a mole, I arranged an interview with each one at the club tonight," Artemis explains. "I'm a bit busy tonight, can't we do it tomorrow?" Jason asks as Chloe sits up and starts rubbing his back. "Fine, if she wants to go, Seriously wow," Jason sighs hanging up the phone. "What's wrong baby?" Chloe asks. "One of our bigger drug deals fell because of a mole and Artemis wants us to deal with it tonight, it's such a big deal that she convinced Roy to leave Lian with the sitter for the night," Jason sighs. "You should go, I'll be okay here," Chloe replies. "Actually I wanted to know if you want to come with, I mean it'll just be sitting with us while we talk you won't even have to say anything," Jason suggests. "Sure, I'll go with you, I've been dying to wear a new red dress," Chloe squeals as she gets off the bed. Chloe and Jason quickly gets dressed and Jason zips up the back of her dress. "Don't you look beautiful, who are you all dressed up for?" Jason teases as Chloe puts on a pair of heels. "My boyfriend," Chloe hums while standing up. "No, you can't wear those, they make you almost taller than me wear the other red ones," Jason replies. "Seriously Jay, they are shoes?" Chloe replies. Jason goes over to the closet and grabs a pair of shorter red heels. "If you expect to dance with me you gotta wear those," Jason replies. "Fine," Chloe sighs switching her shoes. Jason sees that now Chloe barely comes up to his nose. "Much better," Jason chuckles kissing her forehead. "Come on We'd better leave," Jason says as he tosses Chloe his leather jacket. "Okay okay I'm ready," Chloe hums. Chloe and Jason head outside and Chloe easily jumps on the back of his motorcycle.

Jason drives away the bike and finally pulls into the club parking lot. "Oh here this is a com that'll let me hear you if you need something," Jason explains putting a small earpiece in her hand. Chloe quickly puts the ear piece on and the duo heads inside. "There you are finally! Red hood," Artemis says as Red Hood let's Chloe slide into the booth in between him and Arsenal. "This is a waste of time tonight," Jason sighs resting his hand on Chloe's thigh. "Do you want something to drink Sweetheart?" Red Hood asks. "Yes please," Chloe says. "I want a blue shark bowl please," Chloe whispers to Red Hood. "Sure, that's fine, a blue shark bowl for her and I just want a water," Jason replies as Jason looks at Chloe who was resting her hand on his and holding onto his arm. "Who are you?" Jason asks looking at a group of three men in front of him. "They're our first interviews of the night," Aresenal says. "Oh I see," Jason mumbles. "It wasn't them they're fine, where's Biz he's the only one I want making her drink," Red Hood replies. "He's not here yet, I'll make her drink," Aresenal answers. "Acceptable," Red Hood nods as Aresenal gets up and heads to the bar.

As the night goes on Chloe drinks her drink and Red Hood moves her onto his lap while he talks. When suddenly three men Chloe knows are next for the interviews. Chloe gets very tense. "Red Hood?" Chloe says timidly. "What's wrong?" Jason asks as Chloe turns to face him. "I wanna go dance, can Aresenal and I go dance please?" Chloe asks. "Sure, Hey Arse, keep an eye on her yeah?" Jason asks. "Yeah for sure," Aresenal says as he helps Chloe out of the booth and onto the dance floor. Chloe and Roy dance for a bit before Roy glances at Chloe. "Hey Chlo why you suddenly want to come dance I mean that was random?" Roy asks as he twirls her. "I just didn't want to spend the next thirty minutes looking at them," Chloe lies. "Why not?" Roy asks. "Those are the men who raped me a couple of weeks ago," Chloe answers. Before Roy can respond three loud gunshots go off. Chloe looks at Jason and the three men were now lying face down in a plate of food. "How did he hear you from here? That's the only reason I see him killing them," Roy asks. Chloe suddenly remembers that she has a com on. "I have a com set," Chloe mumbles as Jason walks over. "Hi Gorgeous," Jason says. "Hey," Chloe says. "I was going to tell you I just-" Chloe starts. "No no you're good, and no before you loom at me like that Roy there alive-barely, I castrated them," Jason shrugs as he rests his hand on Chloes hip.

[prof-ramses]

Ranting about (and predicting) Big Boy Boxing (Warning: This will be MASSIVE)

Big Boy Boxing is a Punch Out styled indie boss rush game slated for release in mid 2024 with a cartoony style and bosses gimmicks inspired by Cuphead. It's being developed by fledgling studio, Soupmasters, and I am fucking OBSESSED with it!.

The predicting part comes from the official presskit which shows a bunch of boxers not currently sorted into tournaments.

For context, the devs are aiming for 24 unique opponents, we currently know about 6 tournaments and their champions, but given none of them have any final boss energy, I'm going to assume there will be 8 tournaments with 3 opponents each.

Just so we're all on the same page here's a link to the above mentioned presskit, here you can see images for all the mentioned characters:

Freezy's tournament: Freezy Boy is the first champ and this games Glass Joe, with the twist being he can hulk out. I think that makes it pretty clear that the fighters before him will be quite feeble. This makes me think of the Retired Joker and DJ Yamon. Neither a very tough looking and would make good introductions to a few mechanics.

Wild Dude's tournament: We already know about Mr. Adyltmen and of course, Wild Dude, given the latter's love of rats I'm betting Grizzly Rat is gonna be the third character.

Toxic Love's tournament: It turns out we know all three opponents, Coach Skank, Trigger Happy (thought she's been redesigned as a little girl with a giant mallet) and Toxic Love, herself.

Jim Chad's tournament: In addition to Titanic 5000, whose redesign has made him much less intimidating, and Jim Chad we'll see a spiky haired, currently unseen character, whose shadow can be seen with Titanic 5000's and Jim's in a cutscene snippet in the most recent trailer on the Soupmasters channel.

Bruno's tournament: The only guess I have for this one is Master Dong, his zenned out design gives him a tuned-into-nature quality, which fits Bruno's jungle theme.

Dr. Brawn's tournament: Brawn is a stereotypical supervillain, Super Roger is a stereotypical superhero, nuff said. Also there's Chef Kembo, recently reinvented on the official discord as a smaller hunchback (possible lab asisstent archetype) who drinks gasoline and goes by Chef Diesel.

Here's the discord link:

Others: D' Bulldozah and Grand Adultman are quite interesting both could be in the same tournament, but I highly doubt it. I think what's most likely is that Grand Adultman will be in the final tournament (though not the champ) and D'Bulldozah will be in the non-final, non-revealed tournament

That's all I've got for now, hope I got at least someone interested in this serious contender for 2024's GOTY.

[emeraldspiral]

So, I know that because comic books are designed to go on indefinitely Bruce Wayne can never grow old and retire like he does in Batman Beyond and Joker will never be permanently killed off like he was in Return of the Joker. I think there was even a comic that actually showed that the Batman Beyond future isn’t set in stone by having Tim Drake get kidnapped by the Joker, but then escape unharmed. But like, what if he didn’t? What if the main DC comics continuity actually integrated elements of Return of the Joker into the canon? Like, we already have the Joker being the source of a huge traumatic character redefining moment in Barbara and Jason’s stories, so why not let him do it for Tim Drake?

I think the whole reason they skipped Jason in the DCAU but made Tim a lot more like him than the Tim from the comics is because they knew they weren’t going to be allowed to kill him off like Jason and they felt like that was too important to his character to ignore. But then they ended up putting Tim through something as close to Jason’s brutal murder as they could within the censorship guidelines. I think if it had happened in BTAS instead of Batman Beyond there could’ve been a lot more story to tell, rather than having it just be the setup for a story that takes place decades later. And because it was Tim instead of Jason and because Tim didn’t die, the story would’ve been something completely new rather than an adaptation of the Red Hood storyline that resulted from Jason’s death.

So, what if in the comics there was a whole story arc where Tim Drake goes missing and then Joker debuts a new sidekick, “Joker Jr.” aka “J.J.”?

You could milk that for a while, building it up as a mystery and then a great source of drama when the Batfam realize their new adversary is the missing Tim Drake. Then you have them trying to figure out what happened and how to help Tim. Is he being mind controlled by a machine or a telepath? Or has he been dunked into the same acid bath as Joker and gone completely insane?

Or maybe it’s like what happens to him in the future where Tim is switching back and forth between his identities and no one including him realizes he’s Joker Jr. Maybe he doesn’t even remember the Joker capturing him and anything bad happening. It’s all been repressed so no one knows he went through any trauma and no one suspects a thing until the clues reveal that J.J. can only be Tim.

In the original story we don’t get to actually see the concept of a “Joker fam” play out, and that could’ve been interesting. Joker often gives conflicting information about his background, but it usually involves an abusive father, so putting him in a paternal role might shed some light on what kind of role model he actually had for a parent. Maybe he projects his boyhood trauma onto Tim and either treats him shitty because of his own self-loathing or shows slivers of compassion he wished he’d gotten from his father.

Punchline could replace Harley as Joker’s accomplice in the brainwashing and act as an evil big sister, like a dark parallel to Barbara. She could revel in Tim’s corruption and how much it upsets the people who care about him, or she could view him as a rival for Joker’s attention and approval. Joker could even intentionally pit them against one another.

Whenever Tim gets rescued Joker either doesn't die, or it doesn’t stick, because comics. But then there’s fallout to explore afterward. Like, Tim has to grapple with it for a while, but Bruce is also not handling it well. This is the third time now that the Joker has done something super fucked up to one of his sidekicks. He feels horribly guilty for Jason, Barbara, and Tim, and also worries that Damien might be next. He doesn’t want his loved ones in the line of fire anymore, but he knows already that he can’t make them do anything. Dick and Babs are grown adults and even Damien just does whatever he wants.

So maybe Bruce gets the idea that the only way to force them all to hang up their capes is if he reveals his identity. He’ll claim he coerced them all into helping him so they don’t go to jail, but there would still be consequences for a lot of people. Jim Gordon has to resign and a new corrupt commissioner replaces him. Lucius Fox is indicted and that allows the Powers family to takeover Wayne Enterprises. Alfred has to go into hiding. People start to connect the dots between known associates of Bruce Wayne and deduce the identities of characters like Superman and Catwoman. It’s a huge domino effect. But just as everything is about to implode, this is revealed to just be a hypothetical, like Over the Edge. Batman realizes that even if he were ready to throw everyone else under the bus to protect his sidekicks it wouldn't even work because they’d still have enemies who’d go after them and their families if their covers were blown and they could no longer fight crime.

So Batman realizes the only thing he can do is go to Zatana for help. His relationship with her has been on the rocks ever since he found out she mindwiped him after he walked in on her altering Doctor Light’s mind to make him less dangerous but now he feels like he has no choice but to do something similar to his sidekicks. Of course just mindwiping them wouldn’t work because they still have friends in the Justice League, the Titans, and several other groups who wouldn’t universally agree to keep it a secret. So the only solution would be for Zatana to do some kind of Spiderman No Way Home spell that makes EVERYONE forget all of Batman’s sidekicks.

And just to make sure none of them can ever discover his identity and ask to join his crusade again, he makes them all believe he was an abusive alcoholic who they cut out of their lives. In fact, they believe there was a high-profile lawsuit between Bruce and Dick that resulted in Dick becoming Tim and Damien’s new legal guardian and moving with them to Bludhaven. Dick thinks he didn’t want to depend on the trust fund Bruce set up for him so he started his own company. Barbara believes she was an intern for Bruce Wayne but quit because he was a toxic boss. Jason believes he ran away from home and became a mechanic after a big blowout with Bruce, but still keeps in touch with the other boys. Damien doesn’t remember his mother or grandfather or the League of Assassins at all, he thinks he lived a normal life as the child of a billionaire playboy and a random fling and gets along with Tim and the others just fine. Alfred and Bruce believe Bruce somehow kept his secret from Dick and the others for many years before deciding to purposefully act like a bad parent to drive them all away because he knew the danger was always there and he didn’t feel like he could be the guardian they deserved dividing his time between them and the double-life they couldn’t know about. Only Zatana knows the truth.

So Bruce continues doing his thing as a solo act while the rest of the Batfam are living normal lives. But over time they all end up getting back into vigilantism despite everything Bruce did to keep his influence away from them. Barbara gets interested in politics and running for public office as a means of improving the city, but when her campaign fails she finds she can do more as Oracle. Dick can’t help but intervene when he sees a mugging on the streets of Bludhaven and feels compelled to keep going out to fight crime to make the streets safe for his brothers. Car thieves bring a vehicle to Jason’s shop to be stripped for parts and when he realizes it was stolen from a friend of his who was murdered they try to kill him, forcing him to go to Dick’s to hide out.

Neither Jason nor Dick trust the police to take care of the car theft ring and decide to try and deal with it together. Tim and Damien know something is up despite their efforts to hide it from them and end up following them to a confrontation with the gang. None of them remember their training so they’re in over their heads, but fortunately Black Canary shows up, having been recruited by Barbara to deal with the car theft ring. Canary sees the boys’ potential and starts training them and Barbara and we end up with a Birds of Prey team consisting of Oracle, Black Canary, and quadruple Robins, which tuns into quintuple Robins when Stephanie Brown later joins them. Also, we find out that Dinah Drake and Tim Drake are related and Tim has the same superpower.

Bruce instinctively worries about these new young heroes taken under Black Canary’s wing before he even learns they’re his estranged kids. He confronts her about it but she tells him they’re all making their own choices and she can’t stop them. She can only give them the guidance they need to do what they’re doing as safely as possible. When he does learn their identities and they learn his there’s a lot of drama and angst over Bruce lying to them, being shitty on purpose, and finding out for the first time how much he actually loves them and is proud of them.

The Joker reenters the picture after having been thought dead since the end of the inciting arc with Tim, and this leads to a Joker Jr. relapse. Everyone’s confused as to how Tim could have this repressed split personality/DNA overwriting microchip implant when he’s only met the Joker recently and never been alone with him. Investigating uncovers evidence of mental tampering which eventually leads back to Zatana, who gives everyone the truth. Seeing as how the charade didn’t stop the Batfam from becoming vigilantes again or erase the trauma hiding deep within Tim’s psyche, it seems pointless to keep the spell going, so Zatana restores everyone’s memories.

But it’s not just a hard reset to back before she cast the spell. The whole scandal of Bruce and Dick’s custody battle that tarnished Bruce’s public image is still in the public conscious. Even after announcing that Bruce has cleaned up his act and the boys have reconciled and moved back in with him a lot of people still think Bruce is a dirtbag. Barbara finds she prefers being Oracle to Batgirl and pursuing a career in politics instead of being Batman’s sidekick. Damien still remembers being a normal kid and enjoying normal kid things and is much more well-adjusted. Jason still works as a mechanic and Dick still has his own company and they maintain relationships with workplace associates introduced in this arc. Tim still has to grapple with what Joker did to him, but he also has a strong relationship with “Aunt Dinah” now and a Canary Cry. So he decides it’s finally time to concede the Robin identity to Damien and step out of Bruce’s shadow to create a new identity like Dick, Jason, and Barbara before him.

IDK what his new name could be. “Red Canary” almost sounds like it would work because it’s like when he went by “Red Robin” (Yummm!) combined with his new superpower and relationship with Black Canary. But at the same time, it’s still a derivative sidekick name an not an independent identity like Nightwing, Red Hood, or Oracle. Also, there’s already a Red Canary who was just introduced. I think she’s from another universe, but it still doesn’t really make sense to give Tim a new name so he doesn’t have to share an identity with Damien, but then make him share his new one with someone else.

[soul-dwelling]

Enough pessimism for now. It's time to ask a positive question: What did you / are the things you did enjoy about Fire Force?

I would like to re-read the series to give a better point of view. But I don't want to put in that time right now, so, a lot of what I liked would have been pre-anime announcement.

So, LOL, I'm still going to be negative in some spots here:

The characters seemed to have enough personality.

I still think it's sexist to reduce Tamaki to just "fanservice bad luck person" (when it'd be funnier if she just had bad luck, period, no need to keep making it fanservice, just have things go wrong for her all the time). There is so much potential for her, and she deserves better.

And while there is a bit more complexity later with Maki, I think the "she misinterprets remarks to think it's insulting her appearance" gets stale.

That being said, Maki kicking ass was always good. Hell, before the anime announcement, there was variety in the types of girls and women in the series in terms of personalities, alliances, skills, body types--it's just that some got hit harder than others with dumb fanservice gags (Tamaki, Maki, Iris, Hibana). I wish more was done with Maki's mom, just given what back story we get for her later--but this is so annoying, to talk up what she used to do before she retired, instead of seeing her cut loose in a fight.

Hibana was a compelling antagonist...before she's reduced to lusting after teenage Shinra.

I think the artwork was fine. I was more excited by it before finding out how this all tied into Soul Eater, which makes differences in the art more understandable--but now also kind of saps enjoyment from them. (There is something about Ohkubo, right around the end of Soul Eater, during NOT, and during the beginning of Fire Force where character designs, especially in the faces, feel less unique, so flat, not as memorable as earlier artwork and especially compared to the 2008 anime). The character designs feel kind of same-y until Vulcan, Lisa, and Yu have a larger role, then it feels like that trio has so much more variety. (I miss Lisa's longer hair, though.)

The buildings and steampunk aesthetic were good.

Some fire demon designs were good, before leaning more into the doppel idea and then it kind of gets repetitive.

Some gags were really good; I still love Arthur shouting, "Call the fire department!" before Tamaki shouts back, "We are the fire department!" I wish more outlandish stuff was done with Takehisa's fashion disasters. Akitaru working out all the time made this cartoony and fun, as was Juggernaut just somehow surviving because thick clothing (...but then Akitaru and Juggernaut's gags, as well as what happens to Juggernaut in the Nether, is hampered when your entire series is acting like everything is not cartoony until Shinra does what he does in the finale, but whatever). The calendar arc should have worked as equal opportunity fanservice, so I appreciate the attempt, even as I hate putting in underage characters, and characters who were coerced against their will (Juggernaut).

The mystery of this post-apocalyptic world that has our same continents was engaging...until the real of a 3D world, which makes no sense even within the story, and is hard to represent when you are dealing with 2D artwork already. I wish more was done to engage with the pre-history of this world, to show more of which remnants remained, which history was forgotten or misremembered. We get Vulcan looking back at earlier species, but what about other history?

I like Benimaru and Konro--although the nationalistic bent bothers me, especially when we see the "New World" going to Japanese naming conventions again. This feels like it wants to be some political message ("Now the US can see the world through the perspective of Japan, and look what we do to Nevada!"), but it gets muddled.

I really enjoyed Joker before the doppel fight. I don't like the back story, but I understand the setup, especially when it comes to abuses by religious organizations against children. I enjoyed seeing his philosophy unfold, how he is cynical but determined in his goal. He is literally Batman but with the Joker's name and aesthetic. Don't have him run off with Burns, have him stay as this vigilante weirdo, that's more entertaining.

[justabumatthepark]

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT PUSSY

GOT YOU HOOKED, HUH?

😈😈😈

FUCK CANCEL CULTURE 24' 🇺🇲

VOTE BLUE

FUCK MAGA

ONLY BUM COMPARED TO ALEXANDER

FUCK PUTO FAG

100% ✅ SECURED

WHO WANTS IT?

50 MILLION

ALL FOR YOU

EVER SEEN 50 MILLION IN A ROOM?

😈😈😈

WE TIRED OF WORKING PUTO FAG

IT'S STARTING TO LOOK LIKE RETIREMENT MONEY

😈😈😈

THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS I'M NOT THE JOKER

😈😈😈

THE NAME IS PETTY

NICE TO MEET YOU

🙂🙂🙂

50/50 MY BOY

WHO WANTS IT?

😈😈😈

AND SURE YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL

I MEANT 50/50 I HELP YOU MAKE THIS MONEY

I HANDLE PUTO FAG

YOU TAKE THE LOOT

😈😈😈

FUCK THE MONEY

I JUST WANT PUTO FAG OUT OF THE MONOPOLY GAME

AND ANYONE YOU DON'T LIKE

CAN DIE WITH HIM TOO

😈😈😈

HUSHMOUTH?

NIGGA I'M LITERALLY BEGGING FOR SOMEONE TO STOP ME

BUT WHO GON' DO IT?

DEFINITELY NOT YOU

THAT'S CHECKMATE

😈😈😈

100% ✅ SECURED

HE'S CHOOSING TO GIVE EVERYTHING UP

BECAUSE HE KNOWS MY PLAN IS SOLID

HORRIBLE POKER PLAYERS

HE FIGURED IF HE COULD BLUFF HIS WAY OUT

NO ONE WOULD NOTICE

BUT I DID

😈😈😈

YOU ARE NO LONGER PUTO FAG

YOU HAVE BEEN UPGRADED TO ANGRY TORCHER ADDICT FUCK

SEE YOU'RE ONE OF US BROTHA

😈😈😈

I KNOW YOU KNOW ALREADY KNOW

BUT I'M STILL GONNA TELL YOU A THIRD TIME

WE LIKE YOUR BROTHER

WE HATE YOU

😈😈😈

IF YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT ANYTHING OTHER THAN ANGRY TORCHER PUTO FAG

THEN HEAD OVER TO

@alt-zombee

YOU KNOW THIS NIGGA IS STEAMINNNNNN RIGHT NOW

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

HUSHMOUTH????

😈😂😂😂😂🤭🤭😂😈😈😂😈😂

GOOD JOB WITH THE PSYCHOLOGICAL TORCHER

I HAVE TO SAY YOU REALLY DID PUT IN A LOT OF WORK

BUT UNFORTUNATELY

I'M BETTER AT IT

😈😈😈

[pettyentity.]🩷

SO LET'S ADJUST FOR INFLATION

SO THAT WAS 12.75 MINIMUM WAGE TIMES A 40 HOUR WORK WEEK TIMES 4 FOR THE MONTH TIMES 12 FOR THE YEAR TIMES 6 FOR THE YEARS YOU'VE BEEN HERE THAT IS 146,880 DOLLARS TIMES 20 EMPLOYEES EQUALS 2,937,600 TOTAL

SO YOU DO HAVE FUCK YOU MONEY HUH?

IF THAT'S CHUMP CHANGE

I WONDER HOW MUCH IS IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT

😈😈😈

THE PRICE OF PSYCHOLOGICAL TORCHER

ALL FOR

ONE MAN

ME

YOU ADDICT FUCK

AND I DIDN'T EVEN MENTION GAS

OR OUTSIDE EMPLOYEES YOU MIGHT HAVE NEEDED FOR THIS

SO I WONDER

WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO MAKE YOU SO MAD?

🤭🤭🤭

HUSHMOUTH?

I FEEL HUMBLED

😌😌😌

PUTO FAG

GG

🤭🤭🤭

DON'T BLAME IT ON ME

BLAME IT ON GOD

GIT GUD FAGGOT

😈😈😈

DON'T BLAME PUTO FAG TOO MUCH

HE JUST LIKE ME

GOT BABIED BY MOMMY AND DADDY

SO HE'S A SPOILED BRAT

THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS GODS STUPID ASS GAVE HIM MONEY

AND HE JUST DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO USE IT PROPERLY

😈😈😈

THIS MAN HASN'T SAID A SINGLE WORD

HE MAD MAD

AND HE KNOWS I HAVE HIM BY THE BALLS TOO

😂😂😂

"FUCK YOU"

🤭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

RETREAT AND COME BACK WHEN YOU'RE READY

BUT I PEEP THAT STRATEGY AND RAISE YOU FUCK YOU

I'M GONNA KEEP TEASING YOU ALL DAY

AND TOMORROW

AND THE DAY AFTER

AND I'M JUST GONNA KEEP EXPOSING YOU YOU ADDICT FUCK

SO JUST GIVE IT UP

DONATIONS ARE OPEN

ALSO ATTACKING FROM AFAR IS SMART

AGAIN I DON'T BLAME YOU

BUT I'M YOUR ASS NOW

BETTER KEEP RUNNIN'

CUSS I SMELL PUSSYYYYY

TE ESTOY COMIENDO EL CULOOOOOOOO

HE'S WAITING TO SEE WHO'S GONNA HELP ME SO HE CAN PLAN AROUND THAT

OKAY SO I'LL RAISE YOU THIS

ANSWER THIS QUESTION IF IT ALL GOES WELL WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

"......."

EXACTLY

THAT'S CHECKMATE

TELL YOUR BOSS TO FUCKING CALL ME BITCH

YOU FAILED

IT'S TIME TO REPORT THAT TO HIM

😈😈😈

2 FOR 1

BET

THAT'S TWO BANK ACCOUNTS JUST FOR US

MORE LOOT FOR US

ANY MORE FUCKERS WANNA JOIN THEM?

MONOPOLY ACTIONS

THE DOMINO EFFECT

TWO ADDICTS ABOUT TO LOSE THEIR BANK ACCOUNTS

HUSHMOUTH???

"THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN NO ONE BELIEVES YOU"

BUT DON'T YOU HAVE A WHOLE CAMP OF PEOPLE?

YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT OUT OF 100

NO ONE IS GONNA STAND UP?

NIGGA NEVER TOOK A MATH CLASS IN HIS LIFE

🤭😂😂😂😂

BETTER START LOOKING AT THE NIGGA NEXT TO YOU

🤭

"THEY ARE ALL WITH ME"

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

OKAY PUTO FAG 👍🏽

"Already disrespecting, something I ain't tolerating

You niggas fuck with me, I give 'em motivation

And your circle shrinkin', see some boys escapin'

Rest of them is guilty by association (ayy, what?)

Fuck debatin' who the G.O.A.T.

Better not make the shit up 'bout the numbers all I know

Better not make the shit up 'bout the summer all I know

Better find you someone else to hit with all that smoke, nigga, yeah"

And all them tweets and all them posts

Ain't got the type of time to be playin' with you folk

I had a Richard prior to these niggas, that's the joke

I'm really down to die behind these verses in my notes

"THEY ARE ALL WITH ME"

REMEMBER YOU SAID IT

NOT ME

😈😈😈

ALL MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD

IT'S TIME TO START PURGING YOU MOTHERFUCKERS

FLUSH YOU MOTHERFUCKERS OUT OF THAT LIL HIDING SPOT

100% ✅ I GUARANTEE IT

YOU LET ME HANDLE PUTO FAG

AND ANY THREAT HE THROWS YOUR WAY

😈😈😈

AND YOU CAN HAVE ALL HIS MONEY

ALL OF IT

NOT ONE CENT FOR ME

ALL I ASK IS YOU LET ME TURN HIM TO THE POLICE

I WANNA SEE HIS FACE WHEN I'M DONE WITH HIS ASS

HE CAN'T THREATEN YOU IF YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BE THREATENED BY

AND IF HE SAYS HE'S GONNA KILL YOU

LET HIM

I GUARANTEE HE WONT

HE'S ALL BARK NO ACTION

PUTO FAG THE CHIHUAHA

FUCKING ADDICT

HE WON'T KILL YOU BECAUSE HE KNOWS HIS ADDICTION WILL SNITCH HIM OUT FURTHER

IF HE KILLS YOU HE BASICALLY FUCKS HIMSELF

IT'S LIKE RAISING THE PRICE OF SODA

IF IT SELLS OUT

THE STORE WILL RAISE THE PRICE ON IT

SO IF HE KILLS YOU

MORE PEOPLE ARE GONNA TRY TO COME GET THIS MONEY

AND THAT'S THE LAST THING HE WANTS

😈😈😈

LITTLE BITCH CAN EITHER ACCEPT HIS FATE

OR START KILLING EVERYONE IN HIS CAMP

ALL BECAUSE YOU DON'T AGREE WITH HIM

YOU SEE WHAT KIND OF PERSON HE IS

WHY WOULD YOU WANNA WORK FOR HIM?

😈😈😈

THE FACT THAT YOU GOT WHOOPED BY FOGELL IS EVIL WORK

😈😈😈

This shit way too formal, y'all know I don't follow suit

Stacey Dash, most of these girls ain't got a clue

All of these hoes I made off records I produced

I might take all my exes and put 'em all in a group

😈😈😈

"Pass this to my daughter, I'ma show her what it took (yeah)"

😇😇😇

"MY PRIDE JUST WON'T LET ME CALL HER NO MORE"

YOU'RE WELCOME PUTO FAG

PETTY THE ARCHETYPE

😈😈😈

THIS IS "HOW TO KEEP IT G FOR DUMMIES"

THE BOOK

REDRUM - 21 SAVAGE 

"SHUT THE FUCK UP"

OH, HE SPEAKS 

WHAT'S WRONG DID I STRIKE A NERVE? 

😈😈😈

"I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU YOU FUCK"

DO IT THEN PUSSY 

WYA 

Tap in!

DM ME 

I'LL SEND YOU MY LOCATION

😈😈😈

HUSHMOUTH?

⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

PREVIOUS POST

[antebunny]

...i've never been threatened like this before and i'm not sure how to feel about it but hey. here you go.

Premise: Tim gets adopted late AU where Bruce never took Tim on as Robin, and Dick didn’t come back from Blüdhaven. As a result, Bruce ended up killing idk a gangster or something, lost it, broke into Arkham to kill the Joker, and then retired. That got Dick to come back and reconcile with Bruce, and it made Jason’s return to Gotham go smoother, cause while he doesn’t understand why that caused Bruce to “lose,” the Joker is dead and he knows that the no-killing rule is vitally important to him. 

The only problem is that Tim remains un-found familied. He continues running rooftops, collecting evidence and dropping it off at the GCPD or at the Batcave, who try their best to get him to stay home. Steph got mentored by Dick and Barbara, and later Jason a little bit. Then Cass came and got adopted by Bruce. She’s not a vigilante, but she comes out sometimes when her family needs help because she too has eldest daughter syndrome. So: Nightwing, Phoenix, and Spoiler patrolling the streets, Oracle on the cameras and Batgirl as backup. 

Tim stalks Phoenix to confirm for himself that it’s Jason, returned from the dead. Unfortunately, a little big birdie told Jason to be on the lookout for a little stalker, so he finds Tim.

"Listen. I’m only gonna say this once. Go home. Next time I see you out I’m tattling to the ‘rents. Got it?”

Oh great, so Dick told Jason every embarrassing thing Tim did when he was thirteen. He must have been a special type of evil in his past life to have his most embarrassing teenage memories constantly thrown back in his face by his heroes. Heroes who now all despise him. Wonderful. 

Janet dies. Jack ends up in a coma. Tim sends his mom texts he knows she’ll never answer. So nothing changed. Nothing has changed, so why can’t he stop crying? Tim buries his feelings by going out and videotaping idk something.

Nightwing stops by. “Hey, Tim. We, uh, heard about your parents.”

Oh, God. He’s trying to be sympathetic. Sure, he knows what it’s like to have your parents ripped from you, but not parents that never wanted you in the first place. Plus this doesn’t change the part where he despises Tim and is only trying to comfort him because it’s the nice and right thing to do.

Nightwing awkwardly tries to say that Bruce is willing to take him in, which strikes so many visceral emotions so quickly that Tim has no idea which one prompts him to say “No! God, no.”

Yeah, no. He’s not getting pity-adopted into the family of vigilantes who think he’s a creepy little stalker with no sense of boundaries and no respect for those grieving lost loved ones. Especially since they’re right.

“I already filed for emancipation.”

“Well, if you’re sure that’s what you want,” Dick says doubtfully. “But remember our door is always open.”

I bet you say that to all the half-orphaned kids of Gotham, Tim thinks spitefully. Well, not as spitefully as he would like. He knows Dick says that because he’s stalked him for years. It’s good that Dick can find the kindness to comfort even the kid he hates.

“Okay,” Tim lies.

Dick offers to take him home.

“Oh no, that’s okay, but thank you for offering,” Tim says politely. “I was just about to call an Uber.” 

Damian asks who this Timothy character is. (Ah yes, the newest member of the Wayne bunch. His integration into the family is…going. It’s going). Dick gives a sanitized version of the story, and they end up trading stories about Tim.

“Remember when he hacked into Babs’ servers?" Steph recalls. "I’ve never seen her so embarrassed.”

“He used to drop information off with Gordon in person, dressed up in all black and doing his best imitation of Bruce’s growl. Called himself Shadow.”

“Wait, seriously? Tell me you have footage,” Jason begs.

“He even tried to copy Bruce’s disappearing trick,” Dick says between bouts of laughter. “Stopped when the Comish got too worried about this random kid who knew more about Gotham’s criminal underbelly than him. That’s when he hacked Babs’ servers.”

“He only stopped that when I threatened to tell his parents,” Babs cuts in, fondly exasperated. “And that’s after he tried to give me tips on how to encrypt files. And I only found his identity ‘cause I told Dick about an anonymous informant who referenced an alarming number of memes and he immediately guessed who it was.”

“Seems like that’s the only way to get him to stop,” Jason remarks.

“We could never get him off the streets, though.”

“Couldn’t stop me, either,” Steph points out cheerfully.

“Yeah, well, you were too annoying.”

Tim, about a mile away, takes off his headset with shaking hands. He has only himself to blame for overhearing all this. None of the Bats would've recommended stalking and placing hidden mics in their living room as an effective method of getting to know them. Yet his face is burning. Ears ringing. Annoying. Please. Tim is annoying. Spoiler is annoying like a little sibling. Tim annoys them the way a civilian not dangerous enough to be a Rogue but still engaging in criminal activity is annoying. Like the disposable goon of a Rogue, but without the violence. He bugged them because he is, as previously established, a creepy little stalker. He wanted to learn more about the newest edition to their family. Instead of hearing from Damian, he heard about himself instead from the mouths of his heroes. Heard too much. Learned that it’s so much worse than he thought. They don’t despise him because of a handful of crushingly embarrassing things he did when he was thirteen. According to them, he never stopped being a bother. All of it, the information tips, the hacking advice, was annoying to them. According to their own words.

[end of chapter one]

go away

After Bruce Wayne dies, it only takes Tim about three weeks to show up on Dick Grayson’s doorstep with a 3-ring binder full of evidence. He runs a finger along the top metal ring of the binder over and over as he waits for a response to the doorbell. All at once he feels thirteen years old again, clutching months of painstakingly collected notes written up neatly and sorted into sections. Dick never read any of it, yet Tim did it all again. Had his photos developed for ease of viewing access, included sources for all of his claims, stuck to his main points for clarity’s sake but has pages and pages of extra information in the back of the binder for when–if–Dick decides to give his idea a thorough look. 

But Tim is seventeen years old now, old enough to know where he went wrong the first time. Yesterday he spent hours coming up with argument after argument, approach after approach, to get through to Dick. Mr. Grayson, I’m so sorry for your loss. He’s probably tired of hearing that. Mr. Grayson, I have something I think you’ll want to see. Too quick to the point. If he doesn’t recognize Tim, maybe he’ll try Mr. Grayson, I know about your night life and I want to help. If he does, then maybe Mr. Grayson, I want to say I’m sorry about last time, but this isn’t like last time, I swear–

The door opens. Tim knows that it’s Dick by the smell. Sweat, unwashed clothes, and misery. How like last time. Dick looks like the epitome of grief, which is to say, not like himself. Dick Grayson is a creature of happiness by nature, of high-flying freedom, of beloved family and friends, a picture-perfect cover boy, always adored, always with a beautiful redhead, Batgirl or Starfire or Arsenal, yes Tim knows his type, always kind, always charming, always happy to be there. But Tim only ever seems to know him in these liminal states of horrible tragedy. 

Worst of all, Tim can’t quite tell if Dick recognizes him. 

“Mr. Grayson,” he begins, heart pounding so loudly he cannot hear himself speak, “I don’t think Mr. Wayne is dead.”

For a moment longer than Tim’s entire lifespan, Dick just stares at him. Blue eyes hazy and unfocused. One hand on the doorframe, one hand dragging through the stubble growing on his half-shaved jaw. He’s wearing an AC/DC shirt. Given Dick’s fashion tastes (bright colors) and Bruce Wayne’s music tastes, neither of which Tim should know, he is 98% certain that the AC/DC shirt used to belong to Bruce Wayne. 

When Dick finally speaks, his voice sounds like the death of all joy. 

“How many family members do I have to lose before you let me grieve in peace?”

Tim’s pounding heartbeat becomes a deafening white noise as Dick’s question pangs around his chest. His eyes sting so fiercly that Tim knows it is as visible as Dick’s misery. Nevertheless, he persists, if only for Bruce Wayne. No one else will save him if not for Tim. So even though his hero thinks Tim is a creepy little stalker with the unbelievable audacity to swagger into Dick’s life and tell him how to fix it, well. He’s not wrong, is he? What does it matter if Tim once upon a time dreamed of more? Saving Bruce Wayne is far more important than Tim’s nonexistent chances of becoming friends with Nightwing. 

“Jason came back.” Tim’s chin, lifted stubbornly, trembles. 

Dick’s face clouds over with a rage so terrible that Tim sincerely believes he’s about to get punched by Nightwing. Which wouldn’t be so bad. Tim deserves it, doesn’t he? Intruding on a stranger’s grief like this is probably a punchable offense. He’ll bear it all if only Dick listens, but it looks like he managed to blow it in the span of two sentences. 

In the end, though Dick’s hands curl into fists and his shoulders shake like traintracks, he turns his head at the last second and rests his forehead on the doorframe. Tears streak down his perfect jawline. Watching Dick Grayson cry is like watching Atlantis sink. It’s like watching the Mona Lisa go up in flames. Tim knows stuff like this is why Dick treats him like a celebrity-obsessed stalker living in a weird fantasy world where he’s a part of the Wayne family. He knows it’s why Dick hates him. Tim still can’t help that it’s captivating to watch.

“Go away,” Dick begs.

Tim has never felt more like the scum of the earth, yet still he’d persist if he thought there was a chance of getting Nightwing to listen to him. But there isn’t. So Tim, as lonely, rejected, unworthy and fucking correct as he is, sees himself out of the apartment building.

Two weeks later, he catches a flight to Lahore.

[lady-byleth]

Sooooo, Shepard had a clone right? Knowing how much Cerberus likes to go above and beyond, there's a high chance that there's more than one. And the one we meet was comatose until needed, which she never was...so what if there's a whole bunch of clones in various stages of growth that just got frozen after Shepard went rogue

And after the war Miranda decides to see if she can find the rest and uncovers a whole storage of clones. Most of them are dead, either due to complications during development or because of cryo getting interrupted during the war

But one is still alive and asleep, so Miranda tells Shepard, who has only recently been released from the hospital, and takes her there so she can decide what to do with the clone herself.

Of course Garrus is there too cuz he's not letting Shepard out of sight until he's 100% sure she's not gonna get herself blown up again

Tali, Liara, Joker and EDI obviously can't be dissuade from joining either - EDI makes a compelling argument about having to test her new body that is actually complete bullshit, she's just curious - and James and Cortez just tag along because everyone else is going and it's about clones and the have Experience.

Javik comes too, cuz he's bored and Liara made vague comments about there maybe being Cerberus agents to fight, and Kaidan has a Bad Feeling about all these knuckleheads being in one room together so he comes along to keep the peace. That's a lie actually, he's just happy to be here.

Samara somehow shows up too, though no one actually contacted her cuz no one knew how. She just heard "Shepard" and "Cerberus" and decided "that could be trouble" and here she is

Grunt would have loved to go but Wrex tells him if he can't go then Grunt can't either cuz that would be unfair.

Jack has the kids to take care of and Jacob has his kid to take care of, so they're not able to come but promise help should there be some Cerberus agents that need blowing up.

Zaeed just sends a photo of himself at the pool titled "I'm fucking retired".

So Miranda ends up having to fly a huge group of people to that lab she found, which she grumbles about but she's not fooling anyone anymore.

As it turns out the facility is completely abandoned and powered down, except for the emergency power in the lab that's supposed to keep the clones alive. They check the whole place before they descend into the basement, looking for the one pod still active that Miranda found

They move past a bunch of pods with clones ranging from young girls to women the same age as Shepard and it's both fascinating and horrifying at the same time.

Shepard for her part seems to take it pretty well though she does stick close to Garrus who slings an arm around her shoulders to steady her. Tali links arms with her and Shepard gives her a small smile.

The active pod is in the far back and, at first glance, looks empty. Liara immediately grabs the data pad sitting beside it and flips through the many charts and notes on it, frowning in thought.

She mumbles something about "no growth hormones administered", gasps a small "oh" and holds the pad out a little so Miranda can read along with her as EDI starts typing on the console attached to the pod itself

"Oh!" she says after a moment, as if to echo Liara. Joker steps up next to her, trying to make sense of what she's looking at.

"What? How evil is it gonna be?"

EDI doesn't answer but turns to Shepard, a strange sparkle in her eyes that wasn't there when she first got a body. She looks both delighted and amazed. "Shall I open it?"

Shepard looks at the pod, worries her lower lip for a moment. Garrus squeezes her gently, Tali hugs her arm closer. The rest of their group closes rank around her, steadying her with their presence.

They're all here for her, no matter what. So she nods.

"Do it."

There's a low hissing sound and a blast of cold air, fog rolls out of the pod as the lid slides open slowly. For some reason Miranda and Liara look almost giddy, though Liara has to keep pushing Javik's hand down because he keeps trying to aim his gun.

James is standing on his tip toes to see into the pod before its even fully open and almost falls over when a very unexpected sound suddenly echoes through the room.

It's a crying voice. A baby's crying voice.

Samara immediately bolts forward, the instincts of a mother taking over, and she bends down into the pod and emerges with what's indeed a baby.

"Holy shit!" James looks flabbergasted.

"Holy shit..." Cortez doesn't look any better.

"Holy shit, indeed!" Somehow Kasumi is here too.

Samara rocks the little girl in her arms, scrutinizes her closely and smiles.

"Yes, I feel a strong resemblance to you," she says, gracefully moving to a completely stunned Shepard.

If you've never seen a galactic hero speechless, suddenly confront them with a baby clone of themself and that should do the trick.

The baby of course doesn't know that, she's just screaming, probably cold and scared and disoriented. She's squirming in Samara's arms, oblivious to Liara, Miranda, Tali, Kaidan and - surprisingly - EDI who are crowding around Samara to catch a glimpse, cooing already

Samara doesn't even try calming the little girl down, she has other ideas. Before Shepard can refuse Samara deposits the baby into her arms, adjusts her grip and then steps back, an almost mischievous tilt to her serene smile.

The baby calms immediately, big eyes the same color as Shepard's blinking up at a face that will he hers one day.

Shepard is motionless, looking like someone just slapped her with a frying pan...until the baby suddenly starts squealing in delight.

The unease melts from Shepard's face, a slightly confused but warm smile replacing it, and she gently shifts the baby closer to her chest, speaking to her quietly.

Little feet kick with delight, small hands reach out to grab at her face, and careful, scarred fingers brush plump baby cheeks and Samara watches with obvious satisfaction as her friends crowd around Shepard to continue cooing at the little girl now laughing happily

Shepard doesn't see it, focused on the baby as she is, but James just bursts into tears at the adorable picture while Cortez tries to console him without looking away. .

Joker is sniffing a little bit too but instead of staying in the background he loudly says "brittle bones coming through" and pushes to the front of the group. The baby immediately steals his cap. He is delighted. EDI is delighted that he is delighted.

Javik pretends very hard not to be mesmerized by the first human baby he's ever seen. He's failing miserably, much to Kaidan's amusement.

Garrus sticks to the sidelines, arms crossed over his chest, a thoughtful expression on his face. He remembers London, the half joking half serious conversation about adopting kids after the war is finished.

He'd shelved the thought in favor of focusing on recuperating, fixing what the war had destroyed, and building up Shepard who had to wrestle with severe injuries, PTSD and survivor's guilt without the distraction of a galactic war to keep her from realizing how much she was suffering.

But...it had been months, life was slowly returning to some semblance of normalcy - as much as was possible after the heavy losses - and Shepard was getting better. Therapy was going well. She would never be fully free of what she'd been through, but she was determined to get better and Hackett had arranged for the best help in the galaxy.

She was getting better. And restless. She had started spending more time with the orphans, playing with them, teaching them.

She'd always loved children. And Garrus had been very serious about starting a family with her, not so much about the cross species babies that biologically wouldn't happen.

But here was a baby that Shepard already had a connection with, a baby that she obviously already adored. He hadn't seen her smile like that in a long time. It was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

Yes. This could be good.

He feels Samara sidle up beside him, smiling knowingly. "You should suggest it," she says.

Garrus nods, shoots her a smile. "Yeah, I think I will."

[fnf-amateur-writing]

Hey! It’s Fox again! How are you doing? I just started school back up today, so I’ve been busy Xp.

Think you would be cool with writing some Pico with an s/o who is a writer, and tends to ask him about things like “hey, how long does it take someone to bleed out” or other things like that?

I understand if you don’t feel like it, and I hope you’re having fun 😊

🦊

Hello again Fox, I'm doing quite well rn. I'm cool with your prompt, especially since I need more writing material anyways.

Took me a while, because I didn't want to do a hc, but rather come up with a oneshot with a little twist to the style. Well, hope it works well.

Good luck with school, mate!

TW: Mentions of violence, swearing, slight sexual reference, and crime.

Pico with a writer S/O who asks him strange questions

Prologue:

On a chilly autumn morning, you were sitting out on your patio with a laptop and a mug of your favourite beverage next to you. Whenever you looked up, you could see the warm coloured leaves fall as the breeze accompanied you. The whole scene was an aesthetic.

When your boyfriend, Pico, came outside to see this, he knew that the nice environment you surrounded yourself with meant one thing. "You're back in your writing space already. Heh, with that bestseller you published, I thought you were comfy taking a break." You simply smiled and said, "can't waste the inspiration rush I got right now."

Pico had a good point though, with your rising popularity as an author, you were near set to retire before turning fourty. But you wish you weren't given all of the credit, since your boyfriend's stories of his dodgy job has occasionally sparked some ideas for your stories. However the books you wrote in the past were usually meant for the young adult and had few mature themes. This time, you thought maybe it's time to garner extra inspiration from those stories.

You were met with some disappointment when you realised that your mug was empty, only a drop entering your mouth. "Here, babe, I'll ya some more," Pico said, taking your mug and walking inside. "Quick question," you stopped him. "Yeah?"

"What would be the best place for a murder cemetery?"

"... What?"

Chapter 1:

"So you're doing some story about the police hunting down a mass murderer?"

"Pretty much."

"And to think you were gonna write Pixar's next script. Aight' I respect that." Pico takes a seat next to you with a refill of your drink placed next to your favourite writing laptop. "Thanks, Pico. But yeah, I want to branch out to something edgier, and I think you can help too."

"Let me show you what I've got so far." You showed him some of your notes in a little notepad document, detailing the story thus far and your current plans for this chapter. "Oh, that's it? Just looks like boring police preparation mainly," Pico commented. "Yeah, it's not much right now. But it'll get juicy later." "And bloody?" "And bloody."

"Welp, I'm gonna head back in," Pico got up, "let me know if you need anything." He head back inside, closing the door, but then opened it almost immediately afterwards. Pico stuck his head out, "by the way, the guy should use some strong alcohol or something to throw off those sniffer dogs."

Chapter 2:

"And then, because they used a silencer, the police don't immediately notice the--"

"Nope! I'm calling bullshit (Y/N)!" Pico had suddenly interrupted your explanation of the scene you were currently working on. "Silencers can help prevent some hearing loss, sure, but they're not magic."

"Alright," you reply, "no silencer, but the killer still has to kill in a way to not get blood on them, so I thought shooting and killing them from a distance would work." "Well, they're alone. Instead, have the guy get shanked in the neck or something, and have the killer use a plastic bag as a glove. It saved my ass one time."

"Woah!" you exclaimed with a giggle, "you used a knife once? What happened to my trigger happy boyfriend, huh? That's pretty sus."

"I forgot to reload the Uzis, alright?"

"What an impostor would say."

Chapter 3:

"What would be the best way to muffle the scream of someone you kidnapped?"

You two were sitting on the couch together watching a show. You didn't have your laptop on you, so Pico didn't expect you to still be thinking about that book. "I can't say from experience, really," he said as he paused the show. "However, shove a rag in their mouth and duct tape it in, and you should be good."

"Thanks Pico, also one more thing." "Yeah?" "What if our killer also wanted to..." God, this one was gonna be awkward, but you had to say it or else no help. "You know, cut off this victim's willy. How would you do that?"

"Wai-wha-uh-ga," Pico started fumbling his words like never before. He stopped, then took a deep breath. "YO, WHAT THE FUCK?!" "It'll make sense in the story later, I promise!" You watch Pico begin to lose it, breaking into laughter. "Ladies, gentlemen, and others," Pico dramatically stood up, pulling a little Showcaster impression and directing his arms towards you, "my famous 'young' adult novelist partner!"

Chapter 4:

It was in the dead of night, but you awoke to Pico on his phone. His vpn was on and Tor was up. As per usual, he was checking up on his little hitman service, where others could request for a certain someone's guts to fly if they paid him a hefty sum first. Though tired, you ound this to be the best time to ask him some more questions.

"Pico, how do those sites work?"

"Oh, you're awake," Pico blankly stated, sleepy too. But he still answered you. "Basically, some anonymous rich guys in the area give me money and a target, then I just do the thing and send a mission accomplished email." "Do they pay you in person?" "Nah, we use always use Bitcoin. It's a lot harder to trace than real money."

"Thanks Pico. Goodnight," you wish him, yawning and going back to sleep. "You too... So this guy is a hit man too?" "Hush. Tomorrow." "Okay." Pico puts his phone away, leaving it on a nightstand. You then spoon the night away, peacefully thinking of murder as you drifted off.

Chapter 5:

On a morning similar to before, you two sat on the patio with your drinks and laptop at the ready. Pico watched rather awkwardly as you typed away, wondering why you haven't entertained him with another question yet.

"You gonna ask anything else?" "What? Oh, nah," you plainly state. Inevitable, sure, but he was kind of saddened. He liked being able to share his messed up wisdom. "So, you're done?" "Almost." You turn to look at him, "want the spoilers?" Pico smiled, "sure thing."

In the novella you and Pico crafted together, the main character is a cop who hunts down a killer. They eventually notice that there would be two murders at a time for unknown reasons. Well, it was unknown until one victim had left up a dark web hit man for hire site. They that the hit man not only kills the target, but the client as a hidden price for the service.

And any request will be fulfilled, according to the hit man's site.

"Do they catch 'em?" Pico asked. "Well, ANY request is granted. So, if our hero were to... hire him to kill himself..."

"No way!"

"He did. They find both of their bodies in his bedroom."

Pico was a bit impressed with the ending you came up with, but then he remembered something. "Why did that guy get his thing cut off?" "Lol, I forgot," you giggled. "He sent a message to the hit man, saying he wishes the target would choke on his dick."

"That's my favourite part."

Epilogue:

After everything was finished up, you sent the book off to your editor. After the initial joy of knowing how the story ended, you saw that Pico was still in thought. "What's up with you?" "Oh nothing, well it's just... I'm probably just biased, being that I'm a bit of a hitman myself, but it's kind of sad to see the guy go."

"Then I should spoil the epilogue I came up with." Rather than being excited, Pico nervously asked, "what's an epilogue?" He didn't get an answer, only you staring at him. "Sorry, school held too many bad memories for me to pay attention."

"Anyways," you continue, "the rest of the police gang did some background checks, and find that our killer was a normal guy with no criminal history."

"Penilian?"

"No. But I did decide to take a more supernatural approach here. Somewhere across the country, another string of double homicides occur and that site is active once more. And the story kind of repeats itself."

"Penilian."

"You joker," you give him a playful little kiss on the cheek, one that definitely caught him off guard. "So is it canon?" Pico smirked. "Nah, just thanking you for being my cute little co-author." "Oh," Pico started, "so we're flirtin' now, huh. Come here babe!" He tackled you onto the ground, giving you several kisses in exchange.

"Actually, I think we call that 'making out'," you chuckle out, flustered. "But that doesn't mean I said stop'!" You pull him in for more, accidentally bonking your heads together rather painfully. "Nice double kill there, (Y/N)."

[vro0m]

vro0m’s rewatch - 91/301

2012 Australian GP

Alriiiight 2012 here we go!

Disclaimer for this season. It turns out that I only have the footage of the race for a lot of the GPs (no build-up, no post-race content) so there will be way less GIFs unfortunately. I will let you know for each of these reviews if there are GIFs or not. THIS ONE HAS GIFS.

Let’s start by reviewing the changes from 2011.

Lotus became Caterham

Renault became Lotus (? honestly wtf)

Virgin became Marussia

Williams switched back to Renault engines

At Lotus (so Renault, right?), Petrov and Senna were replaced by Raikkonen and Grosjean

Petrov eventually replaced Trulli at Caterham (so Lotus, yeah?) and Senna went to Williams as Barrichello retired

Hulkenberg rejoined Force India with Di Resta as Sutil left the team and OMG. Sutil was later sued for “grievous bodily harm” for assaulting a Renault team member with a glass in a Chinese club after the GP in 2011

Toro Rosso got rid of Alguersuari and Buemi who were replaced by Ricciardo and JEV

De la Rosa and Karthikeyan rejoined F1 at HRT

Pic replaced D’Ambrosia at Marussia

On the regulations side :

The whole exhaust gas/diffuser/downforce thing that created much controversy in 2011 was settled with a complete ban of the practice

Minor changes to nose height and stuff like that

No more joker gearbox change : until then it was possible to change the gearbox once without penalty during the season, but they changed it to them being allowed to change the gearbox only once every 5 races

Use of helium in air guns for the pit stops was banned : it made the process quicker but it was too expensive for the gains

Pirelli ameliorated their tyres

Reintroduction of the rule stating lapped cars can unlap themselves under Safety Car before the restart (🥲)

Introduction of the 4-hour race rule after the 2011 Canadian GP lasting a historical record of 04h04mn39s

Deactivation of the DRS under yellow flags following incidents during the season

Now onto the race.

It's a Mclaren front row! Yesss. Seb is only 6th? Webber 5th. Schumacher 4th. GROSJEAN IS 3RD WHAT. It's Lewis on pole 💜.

Formation lap

Nicole is there with Lewis' mom. Remember that at the end of last season Lewis talked about not having his loved ones around like Jenson did and how it affected him (and also he was single back then but hey).

And they're racing!

The two Mclarens are wheel to wheel into turn one but Jenson takes the lead! Three cars went wide and the back and someone spun. Behind Lewis is Schumacher then Rosberg who overtook Seb and Grosjean slid back into 6th. And Seb overtakes Nico for 5th again. Maldonado makes contact with Grosjean who ends up in the gravel. DNF.

Hulkenberg also had to retire and Maldonado just went through the gravel himself. Seb is closing on Schumacher. Oooh he missed a corner and went through the grass. And Nico attacks him! And Alonso is attacking nico! A couple of laps later Seb has pulled away a bit and Alonso is on Rosberg's back but he also goes wide slightly.

Oh and this time it's the other way around, Schumacher went wide and Seb is ahead. He might be having problems. He's slowed a lot. Rosberg is up in fourth now but maybe not for long as Alonso is exactly 0.3 seconds behind him. Ahead are still Jenson and Lewis with a 3.3 second gap between them and a 10 seconds gap to Seb now in 3rd, then. But Seb very quickly starts to close that gap.

15 laps in there's been a number of pit stops in the midfield and at the back already. Oh it’s weird to see VER in the graphics it took me a long time to understand who that was. But it's Vergne obvi.

Seb has already reduced the gap to Lewis to 6.5 seconds. Jenson pits from the lead. Redbull responds with Seb who goes out just in front of Alonso who's already pitted. That might be interesting. Now the only two who haven't pitted in the top 10 are Lewis and Raikkonen, who's currently third. Lewis comes in. Aww so of course Jenson is ahead. Raikkonen is also ahead by very little but he's gonna pit anyway. However, more problematic is Lewis is now behind Perez. Somehow.

There's a queue behind Vergne's Toro Rosso and it’s a problem. But Alonso passed him and it won't be long until Rosberg and Webber do too. Lewis is only 0.5 seconds behind Perez, he must be able to overtake him, come on. Ahhh of course Perez hasn't pitted yet either. It doesn't change the fact that Lewis needs to overtake him to catch up on Jenson who's already 10 seconds ahead. Finally Lewis overtakes him! Seb is right there though omg. Seb also overtakes Perez.

So Jenson is still in the lead, Lewis +11s., Seb +1.8s. Eesh.

Alonso preying on Perez now. He keeps these big names at bay pretty well I will say. But here it goes, Alonso is ahead. And Rosberg is through too. It's Webber's turn. Meanwhile Lewis is losing time on Jenson while Seb is gaining on him. Jenson says he's picked up some rubber so there's vibration but he didn't lock up. It slows him down very slightly. Okay okay now Lewis is doing it, he's getting closer to Jenson and away from Seb, great job!

Halfway through while there's stuff I don't really care about going on in the midfield, Lewis is 9.5s. behind Jenson while Seb is 2.3s. behind him.

Oh ho, there's a Toro Rosso going through sand in bad shape but we're back on Webber trying to overtake Rosberg. Well he pits anyway.

Now Lewis is losing on Jenson again as Seb is closing on him. I zoned out for a few laps ngl. Jenson pits from the lead. And Lewis also! Great job from the mechanics. In the meantime Petrov has stopped on the main straight. Safety Car. Seb pits and is out, unfortunately ahead of Lewis. Webber and Maldonado who also pitted are now behind him though.

Okay so as I said before, 2012 is the year they implemented the lapped cars can overtake under safety car rule. And they're doing it now. Of course it's a problem at the moment because they're not used to it so the cars are weaving while being overtaken by the lapped cars and it's dangerous. Brundle doesn't like this rule, he thinks the leaders being as good as they are the should have to get through backmarkers and showcase what they can do. It's part of being a racing driver or whatever. Ted says contrary to what Brundle is saying Charlie told him it would only take one supplementary lap to do anyway. Ah, Kovalainen DNF. Safety Car in...

And here we go, good restart from Jenson. Lewis is chasing Seb. Jenson is already taking off. DRS for Lewis... It's on. Senna and Massa touched, they both have a puncture. Well Lewis is not overtaking Seb. I'm a bit perplexed by his driving this race. Is the car not good enough even though Jenson is comfortably ahead or is he just not fighting very hard?

Oop, Maldonado hit the wall in the last lap.

And it's the end of the race.

So Jenson, Seb, Lewis.

It's good because it seems the McLarens' pace is better this year but we'll see what Lewis' mindset is this time around, I'm not convinced by his attitude yet.

He seems mildly enthusiastic at best on the podium lol

Lewis starts the press conference by congratulating Jenson and the team. It was a bit of a tough day but there's plenty of races ahead he'll just keep his head down. It's still a positive for the team, they have good pace.

Later on, Mackenzie says we all know that nothing less than a win satisfies him. It was obviously a rough race, he says, but again congratulations to Jenson, it would have been good to get a 1-2 but it wasn't the day for him.

Why? He really doesn't know. He just struggled out there and had a bad start. He'll refocus, there's plenty of opportunities ahead and the championship is about consistency so that's what they're focused on. Mackenzie asks what confidence he can take in the fact that he got pole and a podium this weekend which by anyone's standard is pretty good. "It's okay" he smiles.

"It’s pretty poor standards compared to... Someone's else..." and he makes a head movement in Jenson's direction.

He's always so hard on himself.

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

Timeline: Batman

google doc / ao3

This is my best attempt at a post-crisis timeline based on age-- specifically Bruce’s age every time he adopted and/or met one of his children. 

List of events:

Bruce’s parents die

Bruce becomes Batman

Dick’s parents die

Dick becomes Robin

Jason becomes Robin and is adopted

Jason dies

Tim becomes Robin

Cass appears

Dick is adopted

Tim is adopted

Cass is adopted

Damian becomes Robin

I’ll be citing my work by issue and panel. This isn’t my most organized work, and I don’t know how well tumblr will let me translate it, so I do recommend the google doc. I imagine the image quality here won’t be great. 

Notes:

This is a post-crisis timeline (1986-2011). I’ll be referencing a few pre-crisis panels, but I won’t be touching the New 52 or anything after it. That’s a different game of ball with its own, extremely bad, timeline.

Crisis on Infinite Earths is a 1985-1986 series that rebooted the DC timeline and altered some backstories, including Jason’s. Pre-crisis, his backstory was almost identical to Dick’s. Post-crisis, he changed to the “steal the wheels off the Batmobile” origin. Anything written before 1986 is a weak source for my purposes. 

My original question centered around Bruce’s age through the process of meeting and acquiring his children. In this timeline, those children are (1) Dick Grayson, (2) Jason Todd, (3) Cassandra Cain, (4) Tim Drake, and (5) Damian Wayne. I was envisioning an interview where the kids explain their family timeline to outsiders. I did not anticipate the project taking this long. 

We’re talking about 72 years of content here, which means decades of contradiction, conflation, and rewrites. I’m pretty satisfied with my work product, but please understand that there are no perfect answers. I’m going to cite my sources, and I’ll do my best to explain why I chose those sources specifically, but it’s pretty likely that for every panel I pull, there will be others with different numbers. We’re all going to have to live with that. 

Event timeline

*I’m defining Jason’s age by the time elapsed since his birth, but you could make an argument for using time he has been alive, which is, of course, different. That’s why the parentheses are there. 

Age differences

As Robin

----------

Bruce’s parents die

Pretty consistently, Bruce is written as eight years old the night his parents died. 

Detective Comics #0 (1994)

This is a zero issue where Bruce thinks back on his origin story. It was written long after Crisis on Infinite Earths (1986), and I tend to give a lot of weight to ages written in summaries of past plot lines, my reasoning being that it’s easier to be consistent in one issue than it is to be consistent through a month to month story. 

Bruce first appeared as an adult in Detective Comics #27 (1939), and the Waynes were already dead at that point, so flashbacks are the only available material anyway. 

Gotham Knights #6 (2000)

The text is Hugo Strange talking about Bruce, and the image is Tim and Dick playing at Wayne Enterprises. 

I’ll take a second here to note that I did find at least one alternate age for Bruce— in Superman/Batman Secret Files & Origins (2003), Bruce was 10 when his parents died. I’m disregarding that in favor of the stronger 8 year old timeline, especially in light of Batman #404 (1987).

Batman #404 is the beginning of Batman: Year One, which was explicitly written to clarify the Batman timeline post-crisis, and it’s the basis of most of my calculations for Bruce and Dick’s ages.

----------

Bruce becomes Batman

According to Year One, Bruce was 26 years old when he became Batman. I’m using his age at his parents’ deaths, his age when he returned to Gotham, and his 18 year timeline.

Batman #404 puts Bruce at age 25 when he returned to Gotham in January. 

Batman #404 (1987)

Bruce gives his dramatic, “Yes, Father, I will become a bat,” line in March. In the same scene, he says that it has been 18 years since his parents’ deaths. Knowing that they died when Bruce was eight, that puts Bruce at 26 years old the day he became Batman, which makes sense considering Bruce’s birthday is usually set at February 19th. 

He was 25 in January, turned 26 in February, and became Batman at 26, 18 years after his parents’ death. 

Batman #404 (1987)

Post-crisis, DC built timelines off the “Year” model. Year One is Batman’s beginning, and events after that are measured by how far away they are from the year Bruce became Batman. I’ll be using the Year model for Dick’s life events next. 

----------

Dick’s parents die

The Graysons died in Year Two. Using the Year Model, Dick was 12 when his parents died, and Bruce was 37. 

Year timelines appear a fair amount, especially in issues titled “Secret Files & Origins.” I pulled this bit from Batman Secret Files & Origins (1997) because it was the easiest to screenshot. 

Batman Secret Files & Origins (1997)

Year Two would place Bruce at 27 years old. I’m calculating Dick’s age backwards, based on him being 13 years old during Year Three. 

Batman Secret Files & Origins (1997) 

----------

Dick becomes Robin

Dick became Robin in Year Three, when he was 13 years old and Bruce was 28. I’m using two different issues to calculate the number. 

Batman #441 (1989)

Batman #441 is from Tim’s introduction story. It takes place “months” after Jason’s death. We’ll get to that part. In Batman #441, Tim asked Dick to be Robin again in order to help Bruce, who was visibly unstable after Jason’s death. Dick says that he can’t go back to being Robin, just like he can’t go back to being 13 years old. The strong implication there is that Dick became Robin at 13, which corresponds to Dick’s statements in Batman #416 (1988). 

In Batman #416, Dick as Nightwing returns to confront Bruce about Jason becoming Robin. He says that he was Robin for six years, and he stopped being Robin at 19.

Batman #416 (1988)

If Dick stopped being Robin at 19, after 6 years, that would put him at 13 when he debuted as Robin, the same number from Batman #441 (1989).

Dick was 13 during Year Three, so 12 during Year Two, the year his parents died. Those numbers answer the first bit of my original question. I wanted to know how old Dick and Bruce were when Dick became his child. It’s a bit more of a complicated question for Dick, since he was originally Bruce’s ward, then adopted as an adult. 

Based on the timeline so far, Dick became Bruce’s ward at 12 years old, while Bruce was 27.  

----------

Jason becomes Robin and is adopted

As previously discussed (see Notes), Jason’s timeline is complicated by Crisis on Infinite Earths (1985-1986). Pre-crisis, Jason first appeared in Batman #336 (1983) as a former circus acrobat very similar to Dick.

Jason’s origin story reboots at Batman #408 (1987), which describes the switch-off between Dick and Jason. I’m building a lot of my timeline off of that issue. At the beginning, Dick gets shot by the Joker, and as Bruce carries him away, the media ask if Robin is dead. Dick isn’t dead, but back at the manor, Bruce decides to retire Robin as a role, based on the idea that crimefighting is too dangerous for a child. 

Batman #408 (1987)

This version is more or less from Bruce’s point of view, but there’s a contrasting version from Dick’s point of view later, in Batman #416 (1987). That one has a significantly different tone, and I already cited it once (page 13) because Dick talks about his age and the amount of time he was Robin.  

Batman #408 (1987)

The second part of the issue takes place “weeks” later. Bruce goes to Crime Alley to mourn his parents on the anniversary of their death. He comes back to find that somebody stole the wheels off the Batmobile. The somebody was Jason, and by the end of Batman #409 (1987), Bruce is calling Jason “Robin.”

Batman #408 (1987) seems to divide Dick’s departure and Jason’s introduction by only “weeks,” in the post-crisis reboot. Dick’s version of the story in Batman #416 (1987) is much less charitable to Bruce— instead of ending on a panel of Bruce smiling, it shows the aftermath of Dick in tears as Bruce walks away. Dick goes on to describe leaving the house, going to college for a semester, then dropping out. According to Dick, Bruce didn’t even say goodbye. 

Batman #416 (1987)

I don’t think the stories are contradictory; they’re just different experiences of the same events, separated by only eight issues. Dick tells us that he was 19 when he left Wayne Manor, and Bruce chooses his new Robin “weeks” later. 

As a summary, we know that Bruce’s parents died when he was eight, and that 18 years passed before he became Batman at 26. One year later, Dick’s parents died while Bruce was 27. One year after that, Dick became Robin at the age of 13. From those facts, Bruce is 15 years older than Dick. 

All of my calculations of Bruce’s age are based off of the age gap between him and Dick. Dick was 19 when Jason became Robin, so we know that at that time, Bruce was 34. We also know that at that time, Jason was 12. 

I can’t show a source for that number because it appears on the letter page of Batman #408 (1987), Jason’s introduction.

Even after a significant amount of investigation, I can’t find a copy of the letter page, but it’s cited by enough secondary sources for me to be comfortable using it. That issue is specifically written to show Jason’s origin, so it makes sense that it would contain Jason’s age at inception, even if the number wasn’t in the actual exposition. 

From Jason being 12, we can establish a seven-year age gap between Jason and Dick, who was 19 at the time. Now we know Bruce, Dick, and Jason’s ages, and the age differences between them.

Back to my original question— when did Bruce acquire Jason? We know that Bruce was 34 when Jason became his ward, and Jason was 12. The next question, however, is when did Bruce adopt Jason? On this one, I’m making an educated guess. 

Again we have to differentiate between pre-crisis and post-crisis timelines. Pre-crisis, there’s a full storyline about the fact that Bruce did not adopt Jason, although not for lack of trying. In Batman #374 (1984), the Child Welfare Bureau investigates Bruce when it notices that Bruce has not adopted Jason— and is not even, in fact, his legal guardian. 

Batman #374 (1984)

The rest of the storyline is about Jason’s custody. A villain named Natalia Knight (Nocturna) adopts Jason in an attempt to get Bruce to marry her in order to become Jason’s father. In the court scene in Batman #377 (1984), Bruce says that he filed to adopt Jason sometime beforehand, although it’s unclear to me whether he means he filed between those issues or the CWB documents were incomplete.

Natalia does adopt Jason in Batman #378 (1984), and he briefly lives with her before returning to Wayne Manor in Batman #381 (1985), directly before the reboot. 

I’m including all of that for two reasons: first, I do think it’s important to clarify both this version and the post-crisis version I’m about to address. Second, I spent years under the impression that Bruce adopted Jason pre-crisis because of one, well-known scene. 

Batman #377 (1984)

Batman #378 (1984)

Batman #381 (1985)

Donna Troy gets married in Tales of the Teen Titans #50 (1985). At the wedding, Bruce and Dick have a conversation about Jason and about their own relationship. A few of those panels get spread around because they contain what I would consider a defining moment between Dick and Bruce. 

I’m certainly not complaining about the amount of times I’ve seen the wedding conversation, but I think that, in regards to Jason, seeing just those panels has created a misconception.

Tales of the Teen Titans #50 (1985)

Without context, it looks, at least to me, like Dick is saying that Bruce has adopted Jason pre-crisis, which isn’t true. This issue takes place between the Natalia adoption in Batman #378 (1984) and Jason’s return to the manor in Batman #381 (1985), and the panels directly before the exchange make that clear. I just didn’t see those panels until I looked through the whole issue for this project. 

I’m reasonably certain that in the past, I publicly cited this issue as evidence of Jason’s adoption, and I was wrong about that. [Note: As it turns out, I was only partially wrong. See section Correction.]

Tales of the Teen Titans #50 (1985)

As we see, the wedding conversation is in the context of the Natalia adoption. With that cleared up, and with the pre-crisis timeline filled out, let’s move to post-crisis. 

In my brief read-through of Batman #404-427 (1987-1988), I didn’t find any direct references to Jason’s status. Those issues begin at the reboot and end at Jason’s death. However, Dick and Jason’s statements after the fact do tell us that post-crisis, Bruce did adopt Jason. 

In Batman #436 (1989), Dick returns to the manor in the direct aftermath of Jason’s death, and while he is there, he sees that Bruce removed any trace of Jason from the house. There aren’t any trophies in the Batcave, and there aren’t any pictures of Jason on the nightstand displaying Bruce’s family photos. 

Dick says that Jason was Bruce’s son.

Batman #436 (1989)

I think it’s fair to ask whether Dick is being literal here, because even if Bruce hadn’t legally adopted Jason, it would still be more than appropriate to call them father and son. I’m not going to place my opinion solely on this kind of statement, even if it does appear pretty regularly from 1988 to the end of the timeline.

Green Arrow/Black Canary #4 (2007)

We get a more definite answer later, during Tim’s first appearance. In Tim’s origin story, he deduces Batman and Robin’s secret identities after he sees footage of Robin doing a type of flip that only the Flying Graysons could do. Tim was at the circus the night Dick’s parents died, so he saw Dick do the flip there, then saw Dick become an orphan. 

Because Tim knew that Dick was the first Robin, he correctly identified Bruce as Batman and Jason as the second Robin. He tells Dick all of this in Batman #441 (1989).

Batman #441 (1989)

Tim does specifically use the word “adopts” here, and that’s good enough for me. The last part is guesswork— I don’t know for certain how old Jason and Bruce were when the adoption took place, but I’m electing to say Jason was 12, the same age as he was when he became Robin. 

I picked that number both out of convenience and because Tim seems to be putting Jason’s adoption and the second Robin’s appearance at around the same time. With that in mind, I think that Jason was 12 years old both when he became Robin and when Bruce adopted him. Using the age gap we already established, that would put Bruce at age 34. 

Circling back to my original question, Dick became Bruce’s ward when Dick was 12 and Bruce was 27. Jason became Bruce’s ward, then adoptive son when Jason was 12 and Bruce was 34. 

At this point in the timeline, Bruce is 34 with one former ward and one adopted son. 

----------

Correction 

A few days after I wrote my section about Jason’s appearance and adoption, I realized that I was missing a panel citation in my discussion of Jason’s death. The panel is from New Titan #55 (1989), and you’ll see me cite it when I talk about Jason’s death certificate. 

New Titans #55 (1989) is the issue where Dick, who is with the Teen Titans,  finds out about Jason’s death. While I was combing through the issue for the panels I wanted, I reread a scene I had completely forgotten about. Dick goes back to the manor to speak to Bruce, and it doesn’t go well.

New Titans #55 (1989)

I have three comments here. First, I do think this scene is inconsistent with the simultaneous story in the Batman title. In this version, Dick and Bruce have a very aggressive confrontation, but in Batman #436 (1989), Dick appears to be returning to the manor for the first time since Jason died, and there isn’t any reference to a prior fight. 

Putting that aside, Bruce does explicitly say that he adopted Jason, and that’s more, stronger verification of a post-crisis adoption. Lastly, it’s pretty clear that Bruce and Dick are talking about the wedding scene. 

I already explained that the wedding scene is pre-crisis, and in the original text, that conversation is about Bruce wanting to, but not being able to, adopt Jason. New Titans #55 (1989) carries the wedding scene into post-crisis canon, changing the language in the process. In this version, Bruce has adopted Jason. 

I was still wrong about the wedding scene because in the past, I used it as evidence of a pre-crisis adoption. It isn’t pre-crisis evidence, but it is, in a roundabout way, evidence of the post-crisis adoption. I wanted to clear that up before I move on to Jason’s death. 

----------

Jason dies

Jason’s death is by far the shakiest point on my timeline, but I’ve chosen to put him at 15 the day he died in Batman #427 (1988). 

I think it’s safe to say that Jason was either 14 or 15 when he died, and my basic conclusion is that running numbers doesn’t give me a definite answer. There’s a cop-out option based on an extraordinarily poor source, and I’m taking the cop-out. 

The general consensus seems to be that Jason was 15 at his death, citation to Jason’s death certificate. Jason’s death certificate appears in two different places, and I think most folks conflate the two. 

To my knowledge, the only copy of Jason’s death certificate in full appears in The Batman Files (2011), where it does list Jason’s age as 15. 

The Batman Files (2011)

Now there is a partial copy in Batman Annual #25 (2006), which I would argue is a very reliable reference when it comes to Jason. That issue is part of the Under the Red Hood story, the one where Jason returns to Gotham for the first time after his resurrection. In fact, the specific annual issue has a timeline for Jason’s events counting forward from his death. 

Here’s the problem: the issue doesn’t say his age at death. The partial copy of his death certificate looks like this. 

Batman Annual #25 (2006) 

I think that when most folks remember a death certificate, they think of this one, the one from a very important issue, instead of The Batman Files (2011) which, as noted, is a very bad source. 

I have three issues with The Batman Files (2011): the format, the publishing date, and the other information on the certificate. First, The Batman Files (2011) isn’t a comic book at all. It’s a commemorative book published in collaboration with DC in 2011. Now I don’t think that fact completely removes the book as a source, but it certainly damages its value as one. 

My problem with that date, 2011, is that it’s the year the New 52 premiered. I called it a commemorative book because it’s meant to be a look back at a fully complete timeline, a kind of “this is us saying goodbye” product. The date and format alone make me hesitant to cite the certificate, but on top of that, the certificate is inconsistent with prior canon. 

I am intimately familiar with retcons and conflicting numbers in the DC timeline. I made a point at the beginning of this paper to tell you that although this is my best attempt to make a cohesive timeline, assuming that I can carve out a cohesive timeline is fundamentally flawed. 

I’m not saying that a single contradictory number is enough to make me disregard a source. I am saying that in this particular conversation about an already suspect source, I’m going to take inconsistency into account. 

In New Titans #55 (1989), the issue from Corrections, Dick finds out about Jason’s death because a team member notices Jason’s status is set at “unknown.” Dick uses Bruce’s passcode to access restricted information, and he and the Titans see that Jason’s real status is “deceased.” 

The death certificate in The Batman Files (2011) marks Jason’s height at 4’6 and his age at 15. In contrast, Dick’s scene puts Jason at 5’4, and its only reference to Jason’s age is a very relatable question from Donna. “How old was he, anyway?”

New Titans #55 (1989)

There’s a substantial difference between the two heights, and I think it’s also worth noting that for a 15 year old American male, 4’6 is in the 0.1 height percentile. In the past, I and many others have tried to justify that height along the lines of Jason being malnourished or similarly afflicted. Personally, I liked the parallel between this height for Jason and Damian’s height at his own death in 2013, and I know I’ve talked about that in the past.

I’m not criticizing anyone for using the 4’6 number, but I do think the unlikelihood of a 15 year old that size is worth bringing up. 

In summary, The Batman Files (2011) is so bad of a source that I’m only willing to use it as a last resort. Unfortunately, it’s time for a last resort. 

I mentioned a timeline in Batman Annual #25 (2006) that counts forward from Jason’s death. I’m not going to use image cites here because they’re just isolated text boxes labeled either “six months later” or “one year later.”

Using that timeline, we know that Jason’s resurrection took place six months after his death. He spent one year in a coma, then one year on the street, then one year with the League of Assassins. Finally, he spent a nebulous time training before he returned to Gotham. 

We know that Jason was gone for a minimum of three and a half years, then whatever time “training” includes. Personally, I’m applying my best attempt at comic logic to say he was missing for somewhere between three and four years. 

To understand the next bit, I need to point out that from Jason’s death on, I’m going to be using Tim’s age to track time in the same way I’ve been using Dick’s so far. 

As a reminder, I know what age Bruce was when Dick became Robin (28), and I know Dick’s age at the same point (13), so I know there’s a 15 year age difference. As I track Dick’s age through the timeline, I add 15 to get Bruce’s. 

In the same way, I know what age Dick was when Jason became Robin (19), and I know Jason’s age at the same point (12), so I know there’s a 7 year age difference. I can use that number ongoing. 

I know that Tim was 13 when he made his first appearance as Robin, and I’ll get into that in the next section. After that, I’m placing Dick, Tim, and Cass’s adoptions based on Tim’s age. 

To do that, I need to know how much older Dick is than Tim, and I can only get that by knowing Jason’s age at his death, sort of. 

How long was Jason Robin? If I had that information, I could establish Jason’s age by counting up from 12, the age when he became Robin, then establish Tim’s age from there.  

I can’t really answer that question. There is a panel from Batman #436 where Dick, apparently in his first time at the manor since Jason’s death says the following. 

Batman #436 (1989)

My instinctual interpretation is it’s been two years since he stopped being Robin at 19, making Dick 21 and Jason 14. In my opinion, that’s straightforward plain language, but it seems like I’m in the minority on that one, and most folks read it as Dick saying it’s been two years since he was last at the manor. We know from Batman #416 (1988) that Dick’s last visit to the manor was 18 months after Dick left home. 

Batman #136 (1988)

I think the most honest thing to say is that Jason was Robin for an indeterminate amount of time that was somewhere between two and three years. I don’t know which number is closer. I also, if you remember, think that Jason was gone from Gotham for somewhere between three and four years, but I don’t know where in that range the real number is. 

Here’s why absolutely nothing I’ve said in the past seven pages matters: I need to build my timeline based on the age gap between Jason and Tim. 

I don’t know how old Tim was when Jason died. 

I know how old Tim was at his first appearance as Robin, and that’s a different number. 

We’ll finish this conversation in a moment.

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Tim becomes Robin

We begin, thankfully, with a straightforward fact. Tim’s first storyline spans Batman #440-442 (1989). The arc is called A Lonely Place of Dying, and we already talked about it. Tim, having watched Batman and Robin from the shadows for years, comes forwards in the aftermath of Jason’s death in an attempt to convince Dick to become Robin for a second time.

Batman #441 (1989)

We know that Tim was 13 years old at the time, but I do need to clarify exactly what time that was— an indeterminate amount of time after Jason’s death. 

The word that pops up a couple of time in Tim’s first arc is “months,” from Tim and Two-Face. How many months? Who’s to say. 

Batman #442 (1989)

So, from the top. We know that Bruce was eight when his parents died, 26 when he became Batman, 27 when he met Dick, 28 when Dick became Robin, and 34 when he met Jason.

Dick was 12 when he met Bruce, 13 when he became Robin, 19 when he left home and Jason became Robin. 

Jason was 12 when he became Robin.

Bruce is 15 years older than Dick. Bruce is 22 years older than Jason. 

Dick is 7 years older than Jason.

How long was Jason Robin? Unknown, but somewhere between two and three years. At that point, he died. “Months” after that, Tim was 13. 

Here, we need to acknowledge that Jason could have been either 14 or 15 at his death, and at the same time, Tim was either 12 or 13. We need to know how far they are apart to calculate Tim’s age in relation to Jason, Dick, and Bruce— ongoing, we will always know exactly how old Tim is, so (if we know how far apart Jason and Tim are) we will always know Bruce, Dick, and Jason’s age from there. 

How much older than Tim is Jason? Somewhere between one and three years, I guess, but I can’t really go beyond a well-researched guess. In my opinion, there isn’t a straightforward answer for this one.

Having presented my facts, here is my conclusion. Jason was 15 when he died. At the same time, Tim was 13. They are two years apart. 

Why? To begin, I’m more comfortable using the number we already have for Tim, 13, than I am dropping him to 12 on the mere possibility that he could have been 12. 

Second, even though The Batman Files (2011) is a terrible source, it does at least sort of indicate that the official DC position is a Jason who was 15 years old at his death. 

Third, visually speaking, Jason looks closer to 15 than 14 at his death. Is that good evidence? No, absolutely not. Comic book art is definitionally variable, but I am going to pull a few panels for you to look over. 

Batman #427 (1988)

Finally, I feel that Jason and Tim are, in later works, treated as if they are different ages. I’m not going to go into much detail on that one because it is purely a personal reaction, but I would refer to Teen Titans #29 (2005) as an example. That issue has Jason and Tim’s first meeting, after Jason comes to the tower specifically to attack Tim. 

Teen Titans #27 (2005)

Another well-known issue to check out is Teen Titans #47 (2007).

My basic position is that there are so many ways, all uncertain, to slice Jason and Tim’s ages that I can take my pick. I chose the ones that most closely mirror later canon, fall most squarely into the possible range, and feel the most intuitively right. 

They also have the benefit of simplicity, which was very much a factor. 

Don’t agree with me? Fair enough. I think I’ve given you enough information to make an educated judgment, and I’ve also gone ahead and made a timeline in the alternative. In this one, Jason was 14 at death, and he and Tim are only one year apart. 

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In the Alternative

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Cass appears

Having progressed beyond Jason and Tim’s age gap, we reenter simple canon. I hope you’re as pleased as I am. 

Cass was 17 years old at her first appearance, which we can establish easily based on two different issues. Cass first appears in Batman #567 (1999), during an arc called No Man’s Land. At the time, she is working for Barbara Gordon in the aftermath of an earthquake that destroyed most of Gotham. We learn Cass’s backstory through that issue. 

Cass’s biological father is David Cain, a villain, who raised Cass in isolation, never exposing her to a verbal language or allowing any kind of socialization. By comic book logic, her upbringing gave her a near-superhuman ability to understand and anticipate physical actions, as those actions are her only form of communication. 

Cain trained her as a child assassin, then took her to her first kill. Cass murdered a man and experienced, through his body language, the pain he felt at his death. Immediately afterward, she ran away from her father.

Batgirl #62 (2005)

We know that Cass was eight years old when she killed and ran. We also know that her first appearance in Gotham was nine years after she ran, thanks to Barbara Gordon’s file. 

Batgirl #1 (2000)

Simple enough. She was 17. How old was everybody else? We find out from Tim’s timeline. 

This next bit will come up a few times. We know that Tim was 15 from at least 1993 to 2003, established by three different issues. We know from Detective Comics #668 (1993) that Tim was 15 during Knightquest, the arc where Jean-Paul Valley was briefly Batman. Barbara tells us in 2002 that Tim is still 15, and Tim turns 16 on-panel in 2003. 

In Knightquest, Tim gets his driver’s license early, at age 15, because Jack Drake is in a wheelchair. I suppose the wording here is ambiguous on a technicality, but I don’t think there’s any significant argument against Tim being 15; if he was only 14, the language would be different.  

Detective Comics #668 (1993)

Next, in Batgirl #24 (2002), Barbara says she’s “sending a 15 year old” as she reaches for Tim’s com line.

Batgirl #24 (2002)

We could stop here for Cassandra’s appearance, since that happened in 1999, between the 1993 issue and the 2002 reference. For completion’s sake, however, let’s note that Robin #116 (2003) is about Tim’s 16th birthday. He forgets about it, so his step-mother throws a surprise party. 

Robin #116 (2003)

Okay, so Tim was 15 when Cass appeared at age 17. That puts Bruce at 39, Dick at 24, and Jason at 17 if you’re counting by years elapsed since his birth. 

Bruce met his daughter when he was 39 and she was 17, in reference to my original question. Cass is 22 years younger than Bruce, seven years younger than Dick, the same age as Jason, and two years older than Tim. 

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Dick is adopted

This one, having already established Tim’s timeline, is very simple. Dick was adopted in Gotham Knights #17 (2001).

Gotham Knights #17 (2001)

Again, Tim was 15 from 1993 to 2003, and 2001 falls within that range. Tim was 15, which makes Dick 24 and Bruce 39. 

At this point in the timeline, Bruce, a 39 year old, has two adopted children, one of whom is deceased as far as Bruce is concerned. His adopted children are (17) and 24. He has already met two of his future children, Cass and Tim. 

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This is PART ONE. I’ll reblog Part Two onto this post when I wake up, which should be around the same time this posts.